Generations – Page 9 – chosenperspectives

Face for ChosenPerspectives 5/13/16

Face The instructions this week for the WordPress Photo Challenge were “show us a face — and feel free to share the story”.

A treasure found, and rescued, from among the discarded belongings of my adopted Dad when he passed away. I have a vague memory of him telling me the story, something about the 1,000 faces of Buddha...picked up in his post Air Force travels, I believe.

I love this piece! I can only imagine the patience and talent this took. If anyone knows more about this, will you please comment?

Saving the Best for Last: a Love Story for the Natchez High Class of 66!

Happy 10^th Anniversary to my James ♥

Dear Natchez High Class of 1966, (the longest “christmas Letter” ever!)

After we left y’all at our 40^th Reunion in 2006, James and I have made quite a life for ourselves. You all witnessed the beginning of us, (unless you actually remember even earlier…James and I hanging out back in high school during The King and I rehearsals). Some of you probably spotted the potential before either one of us did.

Actually, it was pretty instant. Eye contact at the Pig Roast at Everett’s. We both knew even before we even arrived back to our separate homes out West in June, 2006.

Spotted this on my long drive home that June

I was the more resistant at first, not wanting to be in a long-distance relationship. (This was when I thought James still lived in Mississippi.) But when I found out that he was just across my local mountains, a mere 4 hour drive (from Bellevue to Spokane, WA.) I was a goner. No excuses. Early on, we had fun discovering the mutual secret crushes we both hidden in our adolescent friendship during our time together at NACHS.

During our first couple of years together since that reunion, the 4 hour drive was sometimes inconvenient, but both of us willingly accepted the challenge and began making room in our separate lives for each other.

Sometimes all we had time for was driving two hours each, meeting halfway between our homes but that became another sweet adventure. Talk about meeting in the middle of nowhere! This is the Columbia Gorge.

We have now lived in both our places for most of these 10 years.

Learning about each other’s’ lives since high school has unearthed so many experiences in common…and many near misses as our paths almost crossed…serendipity!

We both “served our country”, James, by being in the Army during the Vietnam era, and me, by becoming a VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America), our country’s Peace Corp.

Fierce Idealist!

James in Vietnam Kathie in Birmingham

We both lived in the San Francisco Bay area at the same time, during the height of the Haight/Ashbury Hippie days.

We both travelled the country and chose the beautiful Northwest in which to settle. A couple of times, I was back in Mississippi while James was out West, in San Diego (where I had returned to after high school in Natchez) just missing each other.

We have both inherited such wonderful things from each other’s lives.

We have two homes now; one, a gorgeous mountain retreat, built by James with his own talented hands! And one, a unique suburban homestead, much of which has been built (or held together with duct tape) by my own hands.

My misleading “little house”…it’s actually quite large

I get to have live music regularly in my life now, as James has continued to play off and on professionally.

He and my son connected over music right away.

Michael and James on guitar photo

James at a Spokane gig

James got me on the Harley

and I gave him a family

James with his new family

James gave me his circle of friends that have been meeting every Wednesday night for over 20 years at what they call The Wheel. (This is an amazing group of folks in Spokane who gather on a mountain top to celebrate Nature and to support each other. They call it the “Church of the Blue Dome”.)

The Wheel

And I gave him my sister’s home in the San Juan Islands where we get to house-sit every year for a few weeks.

Oh, my sister’s husband is now one of J’s very best friends.

They think they are so tough. Lenore and I think they are just HOT!

We have had great travel adventures. We’ve been back to Natchez several times, almost bought an “older home” there, and with each visit, we gained weight by filling up on real catfish and hushpuppies…oh, and fried green tomatoes and dill pickles.

My sweet cousins and me

We took an amazing road trip on the Harley, down the West Coast as far as Pacific Grove, and camped in the Redwood Forest, which James had never seen before! (below)

We have been to San Diego a few times, enjoying the Beach Life I grew up in…

And we have both tried to make up for all the lost time by sharing our Mothers with each other.

James and siblings visiting Mother Alma’s grave in Natchez

James even went with me to visit my Mother’s grave for the very first time.

My mother’s grave in the Fort Rosecrans military cemetery in Point Loma

And a huge highlight for me is that James was with me and my son and his family, when we reunited with my long lost daughter, Pamela and her family.

Me, with BOTH my children at the same time…a dream come true

We have done so much to improve our two homes.

James has used his amazing skills to fix up, save and improve my Bellevue home of 40 years now. It’s over 100 years old and needed his talent. He even built me a Group Therapy Room so I could bring my practice home after I sold my long time office building. It’s really the very best room in the whole house.

And I introduced James to my 38 years long best friend and former business partner and he and his wife and James and I have added on the equivalent of another home to J’s mountain “cabin” so we can all live together as we age. (All four of us WRITE! My best friend and his wife are both published, she has even won an award http://www.patriciacleary.net/ ).

But James is the sleeper. He is incredibly talented! The novel he’s working on rivals anything Grisham has written and, dare I say it, maybe even our own Greg Iles. (James will deny this, LOUDLY.) I’m writing a nonfiction book that will hopefully be a legacy for my grandchildren, at least.

Casa Esmeralda-Before and After (named, as James often does, after Emerald Mound)

James and I are so grateful to have connected at this later point in our lives because we know we probably would not have survived with each other earlier, given all the hard relationship lessons we both had to learn.

We really wanted to come to the 50th Reunion this year, and had planned to when we thought it would be Memorial Day weekend. We were going to dance outrageously and give y’all “Something to Talk About”……………(You’ll have to get James to tell you the story of Bonnie Raitt singing that very song to him!!!)

But instead, you get the world’s longest “Christmas Letter”!

So sorry to miss you all. And I hope you turn the town upside down this weekend!!

Love and Hugs from,

Kathie Bessey Arcide and James Carl Fletcher

(although he doesn’t know I’m doing this! It is my anniversary gift to him!!) ♥

My favorite picture!

PS Someone posted this recently.

http://www.natchezrebels.org/james/

Was it you Larry?

Admiration for my Teacher/Mentor/Auntie

Admiration

This is Ms. Jean Illsley Clarke.

You can Google Jean and find a number of pictures and videos, and also, references to her books, etc. She’s a very accomplished woman in more than one field. (I’ll even list some at the end of this post.) If you are a parent, a teacher or an adult educator, and have not treated yourself to some Jean Clarke, you have a treat in store.

But none of that published stuff tells you what she is like as a woman, a friend, a beloved “family” member.

The first thing you need to know is that clearly, she lies about her age. As of just a week ago, she was claiming something ridiculous like 92! But this is how she still looks! Come on!

Jean has this amazing presence and presentation that invites Guru-type adoration and attention, which she disallows in such a down to earth way, you feel her equal.

She is an unparalleled teacher and workshop presenter, who can tame the most obnoxious, disruptive students or hecklers, without them ever even knowing it…no shame from Jean…ever.

And, as my Mentor of almost forty years, more like a beloved Aunt now, she has taught me more about myself than anyone. And believe me, I have done a lot of therapeutic soul-searching about myself! That’s partly an occupational necessity…I am a Psychotherapist. (that is ONE word, by the way.) When I think I’ve reached down as dark as it gets, Jean encourages me to dig even deeper. She has helped me hang on in some of the toughest moments of my life.

Imagine this: You tell her your most painful story ever, trusting like never before, and here’s her reaction. She locks her penetrating blue eyes with yours for a long time and gently places her hand on your cheek. Then she says “Oh…(insert your name here)…”.

That’s it. That’s all it takes to know you are seen and heard and are absolutely not alone.

Seriously though, Oprah missed this one. Maybe even Dr. Phil. Not that those two should carry nearly the weight they do in terms of public opinion, but more people on the planet should know about this absolutely amazing woman, and hear about what she advocates.

My deepest admiration is of her ability to, no, her insistence on learning from absolutely everything. She is the consummate student of life. And the ultimate translator of these lessons into language the rest of us can easily understand and USE!

This is my favorite picture with Jean. It was a lovely sunset cruise around Puget Sound for our Staff R and R, after a power-packed, five day Training with about forty students.

NWFacillitators7-10 208

Jean Illsley Clarke

Jean Illsley Clarke received a bachelor of science degree from the College of Education and Human Development (CEHD) at the University of Minnesota in 1948. She has been a pioneer and advocate for children and families in the state of Minnesota, across the nation, and internationally for more than three decades. She is widely recognized for her book Self-Esteem: A Family Affair that became the seminal work on how parents could raise children with healthy self-esteem.

From Amazon

Jean Illsley Clarke is an accomplished workshop leader and a nationally certified and internationally known parent educator. She is the author or co-author of several books about families including Self-Esteem: A Family Affair; Growing Up Again, Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children; Time-In: When Time-Out Doesn’t Work; How Much is Enough? Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible, and Respectful Children. Who, Me Lead A Group? is about leadership skills.

She has designed, tested, and taught accompanying courses and has offered facilitator training across America and in other countries. Her books have been translated into eight languages. The developmental affirmations have been translated into ten languages and used with groups as diverse as affluent Americans and disadvantaged South Africans. Recently she has been involved in the five research studies on overindulgence.

Overindulgence talks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enw942U421Q

and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4VyMXbj1FE

Grandparenting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ultbBYRQRVk

For “Pauses”-two of my favorite things

Grandsons and birds!

This is Juju’s first Close Encounter. At nine years old, he was instantly comfortable with a new friend’s pet.

Interesting side story; this bird’s caretakers build a cat door for the bird to come and go through…which it has for 20 years or so…Talk about your Free Bird! (Can you hear the obvious song in the background?)

Dinnertime #??? Rated “S”-for STRANGE

I love their little additional appendages by their mouth, to aid in eating I suppose, because their hands/claws are so far away from their mouths. Ingenious!!

Dinnertime

For the short story (inside a long post) on these bugs, please read:

https://theseekersdungeon.com/2015/11/20/walking-with-intention-day-20-by-kathie-arcide/

Dinnertime (well, Breakfast) for WPC

I feed my local crows every morning….for 35 years. My neighbors think I am nuts, and compare it to feeding the local RATS!! In their defense, I suppose their diagnosis of me comes from the fact that I stand on my deck “cawing” at the top of my lungs every morning at 7 until my birds show up….and they do! If I am not out there on time, they let me know…loudly!

From my desk, I look right out onto the deck and am just a few feet from them so I take a ton of pictures…not fancy photographs, just “extended animal-family” snapshots.

Crows are amazing birds, unbelievably smart. I keep a pan of water on the deck for them and if the day’s fare is too crunchy, or maybe too salty, these clever birds dip each bite into the water for softening or rinsing, before devouring.

Sometimes there is competition for their daily meal and there is a minor scuffle.

I had read about this one thing crows do that I always wanted to witness and finally, they complied. Like several other species I won’t mention, Teenage Crows act very entitled! They demand to still be fed, sometimes even after they have outgrown their parents.

I found this information on the Cornell bird site:

Most young birds leave their parents soon after leaving the nest, often being chased away, and never see the parents again. In contrast, American crows never chase away their offspring, and the young may remain at home for years….While they wait for a breeding opportunity, most crows help their parents raise young. They help feed the incubating female, feed the nestlings and fledglings, defend the territory and the nest, and stand guard over other family members while they forage. Such cooperative breeding behavior is rare in birds. Only a handful of species in North America exhibit it, and none are as widespread as the American crow. http://www.birds.cornell.edu/crows/planta.htm

Check out this series of snapshots. Can you tell who is the Entitled Teenager?

And FINALLY!!!!

Now, I just want to see a fluffy black baby and my crow dreams will be complete.

Dinnertime

The “Chosen” Future for WPC

Future

If these “impossible” connections can happen…..

between predator and prey………..

between newcomer and homey…..

between natural enemies…..

between famous and fan…..

Then maybe in the FUTURE my sisters and I can reunite!!!

for “Open Lens”

in response to…

I Bench Press Everyday!

I hear the voice of Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors saying “Feeeeed Me!!”

One last “Dance”

Dance

20150716_084239

This is as close as I could get to the precious Dancing picture I lost. Tad, helping Lucy rise from her chair, the prolonged, swaying “hug” while she got her footing, and then always, when she was finally balanced, she would look into his eyes and smile, silently thanking him. A witness to this could easily feel their 60 plus years in love together, with goose bumps and a throat lump….

Wedding Dance for WPC

Dance

She (in red) comes from a Dancing Family. Her Dad (my adopted one), her brother (my best friend), and her brand new, after 17 years together, husband (lower right), all jumping at any chance to dance!

On her wedding day, her Mom, bed-ridden with a devastating illness she’d fought off for years, was too ill to attend, so they brought the dancing home for her mother to enjoy!

Her parents had “danced” for as long as they could. They were a stunning Air Force royalty couple in their youth, and deeply in love for more than 60 years. Before her Mom had to live in bed, her father would help her rise from chairs. Arms around her, he would scoop her up to a standing position, and then, for a few beautiful moments, there would be this dance, the two of them rocking back and forth in time to music only they would hear, arms tight around each other, until she was grounded and had her footing.

The most beautiful dance I’ve ever seen……….

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