Veteran’s Day 2020

Brilliantly choreographed scene from my all time favorite movie about my generation…

Huge confession here…It has taken me most of my life to be able to accept, and then finally respect, the “Military”. Well, not the military as a whole, but respect for those who choose to join an armed service, especially for patriotic reasons. All that pledging allegiance as a kid, really meant something to me.

I saw my father cry exactly twice in my life. Once, for a split second, when my mother died. And once when I was very young, and we heard Kate Smith sing America the Beautiful. Talk about imprinting…

Becoming a young adult in the Vietnam War era, I was primed to join those of my generation who were loudly and sometimes, even violently, objecting to that war, but when the protesting became personal…aimed at my returning “brothers” just because they had accepted being drafted into that war, rather than fleeing their homes to run to Canada, I knew I had to find another stand for myself.

Confession: Back then, I could not understand that choice. I myself, would have easily left this country, rather than accepting being drafted to fight in a war that made no sense to me.

I’m much better at standing solidly for something I believe in, than fighting against something I hate.

In my young adolescence, I had already been exposed to the most extreme racial inequality in our country, so for a time, I let that experience impact my life to the degree that working hard for Civil Rights became my primary focus…rather than protesting against the injustice.

Then sometime in my 30’s, I went to D.C. to visit the Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial Wall. It broke my heart to have to look up 17 names, but by then, I was starting to see more clearly that I was not the only one permanently inspired by our standing at attention, hand-over-heart, daily pledging as kids.

And along the way, influenced by the passionate commitment of many men and women who had served in the Military, I was able to shift to deep respect and gratitude for their choices, while still maintaining my own stand for peace.

Here’s one of my most beautiful reminders…by the wonderful Karen Drucker.

Check her out at https://www.karendrucker.com/

These are the Veteran’s I’d like to thank this year (although many of my Elders on this list need to be moved to the Memorial Day post).

Colonel Louis Ford (Tad)-United States Air Force (my best friend’s father and my adopted second Dad)

Thomas Alvin Bessey-National Guard Mounted Cavalry (my Dad)

Jean McMaster Bessey- US Navy WAVES (my Mother)

Captain Brian Lee Ford-US Air Force (my best friend)

James Fletcher-US Army (my soulmate and life partner)

Jimmy Schack (James’s best friend)

Mary Paananen (dear colleague)

David Taylor (first love and still friends)

Joe LaFayette (college boyfriend, still friends)

Eddie Leachman (cousin’s best friend in high school)

Ari Cowan (amazing writer waging relentless compassion against violence)

Bret Burkholder (delightful colleague)

Vince Horan (beloved colleague)

Saralee Blum (former colleague)

Jim Sorensen (incredible husband, father whose children’s birth I attended)

Ron Holst (my cousin’s wife)

Michael Adams (son of an adopted daughter)

Dale Beuning (“son” of a dear colleague, kind of like my nephew)

Colonel James Kowalski (husband of my best Blogging friend)

Kirk Boettcher (beloved dentist of 35 years)

Mriana Williams dear friend and former housemate)

Richard Hartman (neighbor)

James Malone (husband of a favorite Psychodramatist)

Shawn Dennis (wonderful housemate)

Colonel James Sampson (my best friend’s other best friend)

Steve Dryden (childhood friend, son of my Mom’s best friend)

Don Ulmer (Writer’s Group)

Lou Chirillo (Writer’s Group)

Dave Bartholomew (my Writer’s Group leader)

Jason Bogar (Son of a beloved teacher/friend)

Colonel Bill Head (married to James’s niece)

Captain Roy Gurd (my best friend’s former best friend)

Jerry and Jennifer Niehaus (longtime colleague’s husband and daughter)

Carol Peringer’s first husband

Lenore (my sister) Bayuk’s first husband, Ronald L. Campbell, USMC

Niece Emily’s dad, John C. Johnson, USN in Korea

John Robertson (James’s number one long time employee)

(I know I am leaving out some names…so sorry)

Here are some posts I’ve written before about this subject.

11/11/18  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/17701

11/11/17  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/16142

5/30/16  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/4921

https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/11/12/veterans-day-11-11-17/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/09/01/shiny-for-wordpress-photo-challenge/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/07/24/three-songs-for-song-lyric-sunday-7-24-16/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2018/09/11/9-11-18/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/12/03/songlyricsunday-12-3-17-courage/

Please check them out if you like and I appreciate any comments.

Veteran’s Day 2019

To some who read my blog, today’s post may seem a bit lazy. But hear me out, OK? I try to write something every year, on both Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day, to thank Veterans for their service, and to honor those who gave their lives for their country.

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Mt. Soledad in LaJolla, CA   11/11/2011

This year is no different except that I can’t really think of anything new to say today.

So I am including a few of the posts I already wrote, even though I still don’t know how to make it easy for my reader to simply click and read. I suspect you will have to copy and paste. (Open to feedback here…)

I also realized this year that I have no idea how many of my readers (supposedly, there are an amazing 486 of you) are Veteran’s yourselves.

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View from Mt Soledad

I’d love to hear from any of you willing to share that about yourself. I’d be honored for the chance to thank you for your service to your country, no matter the circumstances (drafted, just needed a job, or a passionate commitment to a cause). And no matter the country.

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Looking at our phone screens, waiting for it to be 11:11 AM on 11/11/11

Please read as many of these posts as you want and I really do appreciate comments of any kind. I want to know I am earning all the attention of all 486 of you.

11/11/18  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/17701

11/11/17  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/16142

5/30/16  https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/4921

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Right after I said YES!
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11:12 AM on 11/11/11

 

And if you actually read all those others, here’s one, also in honor of today, but way, WAY lighter, I promise!

3/04/18     https://wordpress.com/post/chosenperspectives.com/16796

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Veteran’s Day 11/11/17

I guess every generation has its war. For mine, it was Vietnam.

I was so angry about that war and I could not have told you why………other than my well-intentioned, but naive Flower Child commitment to nonviolence.

Even though I could not have justified it with any political understanding, I marched and protested and wrote passionate letters and participated in every way I could think of…believing with my whole being that we could actually stop the war.

Though I lost my innocence back then, as well as many friends, I never lost my belief in pacifism.

It took going to the Vietnam Memorial Wall in DC some time in the early 1980’s for me to finally be able to make room in my black and white thinking about the Vietnam war. I had never even considered how many of those names on the Wall represented men and women who chose, out of honor and deep-held passions of their own, to fight for our country.

I was still biased, and so angry on that trip. I made pencil etchings of 17 names, “brothers” from my childhood, that had served in Vietnam…but did not make it back home. Each one of them had been drafted.

Now, this print of Lee Teter’s Vietnam Reflections War Memorial Poster sits in the most prominent position in my office/Group Room. Everyone who comes to me for therapy is greeted by this powerful image. Such a small homage to all those we lost, in that war, as well as because of that war.

Vietnam Wall Painting

We didn’t know back then what we know now. So many of us would do it all differently…

especially the welcoming home part….

This is one of my favorite videos ever.

 

I ask for forgiveness for not knowing this back then.

And I dedicate this post, with deep gratitude for their service, to the following people I am blessed to have had in my life. Most, but not all, served during the Vietnam War.

Colonel Louis Ford (Tad)-United States Air Force

Thomas Alvin Bessey-National Guard Mounted Cavalry

Jean McMaster Bessey- US Navy WAVES

Captain Brian Lee Ford-US Air Force

James Fletcher-US Army

Jimmy Schack

Mary Paananen

David Taylor

Joe LaFayette

Eddie Leachman

Ari Cowan

Bret Burkholder

Vince Horan

Saralee Blum

Jim Sorensen

Ron Holst

Michael Adams

Dale Beuning

Colonel James Kowalski

Kirk Boettcher

Mriana Williams

Richard Hartman

James Malone

Shawn Dennis

Colonel James Sampson

Steve Dryden

Don Ulmer

Lou Chirillo

Dave Bartholomew

Jason Bogar

Colonel Bill Head

Captain Roy Gurd

Jerry and Jennifer Niehaus

Carol’s first husband

Lenore’s first husband

(I know I am leaving out some names…so sorry)

PS Sorry I could not get WordPress to work yesterday so this post is a day late…