Procrastination

It won’t surprise any of the people closest to me to hear how much I STILL miss my best friend/sister from the 1970’s through the end of that century.

My confession today though, is just how much. I try not to think about her, or talk about her, but every now and then in our professional worlds, she and I still cross paths, and it all floods back. So many years ago now, but our friendship (our sisterhood) was so easy, so equal. I always felt as important to her as she was to me.

Though she and I had off and on problems, all friendships do, the wonderful thing we had for so long was daily contact…someone to check in with, or be checked on by. I have never found that again.

I know it was partly our age and that stage of life way back then. Our living proximity (including together for a while), and all our common problems acted like friendship-glue, especially ex-husbands, money, new loves, single mom-ing-an-only-child, etc.). These things simply insisted on, and required daily updates.

I couldn’t tell you now what happened, or why, or even my part in it, but the “sisterhood” ended…in my memory now, rather abruptly.

I’ve never come close to replacing that connection.

I have made a few gentle gestures towards her over the years, and her response has always been gracious and kind, but also brief and singular. And my biggest secret is just how often I imagine grand gestures, followed by a grand reunion, much more congruent for our early years as friends and sisters. I play out these scenes in my head a couple times a year….or any time I drive to my city’s downtown, because I pass within just a half block of her house.

This last couple of Pandemic Years, I am contemplating my life, my mortality.

And on top of that ongoing threat, I have had several non-Covid related deaths close to me. I know I am not alone in any of that. None of the “normal” life-losses simply screeched to a halt just because of this stupid virus. They just kept on happening.

But it’s created a whopper of an existential crisis for many, and a profound sense of panic. Better hurry up!!

There are so many things I just can’t put off, or wait around for, any longer. Things I must act on NOW, if I’m ever going to.

I have to decide about selling my house.

I have to get that Dream Camper.

I have to tell, really tell, my people how lucky I have been to have had you in my life.

And, I decided, finally, I absolutely have to reach out to my old best friend/sister.

So in the throes of that emotion, I drove down toward the street that passes her house. As I got close, I pulled over into a parking lot, and sat for 10 minutes, thinking, getting grounded, psyching myself up.

It was Grand Gesture time. Dramatic I know, but hey, contemplating your remaining days is dramatic. I rehearsed my speech, making sure I was loving and hopefully, unconditional.

And knowing it was an extreme long shot that she was even be home, I drove to her house…..

This is what I found.

Kate's

I have no idea what this means, where she is or if she’s even alive, but hard Lesson Learned….again.

Procrastination is a risky f-ing game!

Photo a Week Challenge: Clouds 12/30/19

Another delightful challenge from Nancy Merrill.

I do so love me some clouds.

As Nancy wrote in this challenge: I’m a sucker for a beautiful clouds. Fluffy clouds. Streaky clouds. Dark and foreboding or airy and almost not there. I’ve never met a cloud I couldn’t love. 

I know what she means. Clouds really speak to me. And maybe, because I grew up in San Diego, where there were rarely clouds, I have a different appreciation for them.

Of course now, living in the Pacific Northwest, actually seeing individual clouds, rather than the sometimes oppressive gray ceiling, brings me pleasure in a similar way.

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“Overcast” or low ceiling does not stop  the Blue Angels!

 

Most of us love the beautiful, often intense color of a sunset,

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but sunrise is my favorite.

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And then there are those times when clouds can be a bit intimidating, even when they are simply doing their job.

 

I think one of the miracles of life, of Nature, is when the clouds put on an unexpected show for us.

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Especially one we can’t explain…

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Yep, clouds are the best…..

 

Anyone else hear Judy Collins singing just now??? (sorry about any ads…)

 

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Straight up into the only real cloud around!

 

 

https://nadiamerrillphotography.wordpress.com/2019/12/26/a-photo-a-week-challenge-clouds-2/

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge-Shadows 3/20/19

OK, another stretch for me. Hope you enjoy this.

Here are some of my favorite Shadow photographs, taken over the years, followed by several of the moon, both last night, and this morning as she set on the western horizon.

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And my FAVORITE Shadow photo…my grandson dancing with his…

(This photo always makes me thing of the amazing and beautiful Whippets on https://whippetwisdom.com/. Worth a visit!!)

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Last night I went looking for a perfect spot to watch (and maybe photograph) the      Moon Rise…a Trifecta of Nature, as it was a full moon, a “Blood Moon” and it was happening on the Vernal Equinox.

Don’t get too excited. All photos taken with Galaxy S8+ phone camera or my point and shoot Canon. So no National Geographics winners here.

And, if you scroll down and hit “play”, I’ve even provided a background sound track to enhance your viewing experience.

I settled in and at first, I was disappointed because right about the time she was due to appear on the horizon, and contrary to my phone’s weather app, the clouds rolled in.

I almost gave up but decided patience just might pay off.

So glad I waited.

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It got more and more interesting…

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And then, I woke up at 5 AM this morning with Cat Stevens in my head, the moon on my mind…and shining right into my eyes. So I hopped in my car and drove to a place I knew would have a great view of the Moon Set.

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The shot I was most hoping for just was not going to happen…too misty. From this vantage point, on a clear day, you would see the moon set behind the Olympic Mountain Range! If you look closely, you can almost see them…..

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I had a truly profound time last night at our little local Blueberry Farm and Lake, and this morning at Sunset Hills Memorial Park. (Yes, I watched the moon set, while sitting respectfully in my car, in my pajamas, in the cemetery. Best view by far, in my city!)

Thanks for joining me. Let me know what you think.

Sound Track!

Lyrics
Oh, I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moon shadow, moonshadow—
Leapin and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow—
And if I ever lose my hands, lose my plough, lose my land,
Oh if I ever lose my hands, Oh if I won’t have to work no more.
And if I ever lose my eyes, if my colours all run dry,
Yes if I ever lose my eyes, Oh if I won’t have to cry no more.
Oh, I’m bein’ followed by a moonshadow, moon shadow, moonshadow—
Leapin and hoppin’ on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow—
And if I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan, and I won’t beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, Oh if I won’t have to walk no more.
And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, Oh if I won’t have to talk…
Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light.
Did it take long to find me? And are you gonna stay the night?
Moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow.
Songwriters: Cat Stevens / Yusuf Islam
Moonshadow lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

 

 

CFFC

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: Shadows

SongLyricSunday 2/17/19 theme-mountain, hill

I’ve posted this song before, just don’t remember if it was for this challenge or not.

I’ve always loved the song and all it says, but it wasn’t until pretty late that I found the love of my life, and he just happened to live on his own “ridgetop”.

So now we live in both homes…my humble, ancient, hodgepodge house in the country part of a city. And in his glorious mountain home, all hand-built from recycled, reclaimed, re-purposed materials.

Our Ridgetop!

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Two versions…same song, different photography,,,both lovely!

Ridgetop by Jesse Colin Young

Well, I live on a ridgetop
And, Lord knows, I like it just fine
Where it’s windy and foggy
And quiet most all the time
Yeah, my lawn is pine needles
And my driveway is old funky dirt
And my front pathway markers
Are pieces of granite and chert
Now, my taxes are high
But I don’t believe it’s a sin
I’ve got hundred foot pine trees
That just love to dance in the wind
And a yard full of bushes
That turn into pie in July
Between blue jays and hoot owls
I’ve got twenty-four hour singing sky
Now, when I built my house
I cut six trees to clear out the land
But there’s thirty or more left
And you know that they’re gonna stand
It’s a squirrel sanctuary
They think this woods is their home
And as long as I’m here
I’ll make sure people leave us all alone
Yes, the hill that I live on is steep
And the road’s full of ruts
And the people who live in the flatlands
Think we folks are nuts
But the ruts in my road and the curves
Keep the tourists at bay
And it’s lonesome and peaceful
And you know I like it that way
Now, I work in the city
I think my job is a gas
And I know it’s good for me
To travel and get off my a**
But the nervous parts of each trip
Is the Golden Gate Bridge
And the road like a snake
That will lead me back home to my ridge
Ah, I live on a ridgetop
Yes, I live on a ridgetop
And I like it
And I like it .

 

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/64726988/posts/2175747300

My Zorro story posted on Katzenworld this morning-1/27/19

https://katzenworld.co.uk/2019/01/27/my-dog-zorro-part-1/

Katzenworld posted my story this morning.

If you happen to like cats, this is an epic* story about my Heart-Cat, Zorro. I have blogged about him before but this is the long version, in two parts, about his life. The first part this week and the rest on February 10th. (They even included a connection to the other story I wrote for them about Lucy, our Woodpile Kitten.)

I do hope you will visit their site. They have wonderful cat-related articles, stories, poems, art work, and even product reviews.

My Zorro has been gone since September but I still see him around every corner.

I can’t imagine I will ever not miss him.

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*Epic, according to Bing means:

a long poem, typically one derived from ancient oral tradition, narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures 

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ve written about him many times before….my greatest teacher…

This year, I find myself singing instead.

It reminds me to NOT give up…..

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.learnoutloud.com/Free-Audio-Video/History/-/I-Have-a-Dream/7283

SongLyricSunday-1/13/19 Theme-Laughter

Well, because it is Sunday, I am going to tell you about a song that absolutely sold this non-religious, but multi-faith-ed gal on my local Unity Church.

I had not seen my favorite singers for quite a while (and had not attended “church” for quite a while either) but I could not resist attending last week when I heard they were going to be there. They did not perform the song I am going to share, but instead just happened to do my favorite song. Both of which I will share with you now.

Garnett Hundley and Beverly Daugherty are truly amazing singers, in a wide variety of styles. You may want to sample some more of their music for entertainment and inspiration.

The only way I know to include the songs I want to share today are to give you their whole page. When you click play below it will bring up a different song, (Beautiful) but also you can click on each of them by title to hear.

The first song is one that made me belly laugh when I heard it. I think it was a combination of absolute delight, mixed with deep respect for such a wonderful way to address some childhood edicts clearly similar to my own. It’s called Born Innocent.

The second song is the anthem I have always tried to live up to. I hope to be remembered in this way.  This one is called A Life Uncommon (originally by Jewell).

As always, I LOVE your comments!

 

https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/2019/01/12/sls-returning-guest-host/

A Song for Helen, who has given us SongLyricSunday for so long!!

 

Dear Helen,

I’ve posted this song before but I listen to and watch it almost every day. It reminds me, and lifts me, and helps me with my own frustratingly unexplained physical limitations!!

I wish you the best and want to encourage your return, if and when that works for you.

Love,

ChosenPerspectives

 

 

 

https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/guest-host/

SongLyricSunday-1/6/19 Medicine/Doctors

OK, I’m still in, even though our long-time Blogger, Helen Vahdati, is taking what I hope is just a break!

Here you go:

https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/guest-host/

 

Medicine – Rising Appalachia lyrics

♪ Medicine ♪ official lyrics

Wise men say that rushing is violence
And so is your silence when it’s rooted in compliance
To stand firm in loving defiance, make art your alliance
Give voice to the fire

Move people to the beat of the wind
Gather yourself and begin, to dance the song until it ends
We are winners, champions of the light
Forming in numbers and might, keep the truth close in sight

Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands

Find your teachers in the voice of the forests
Unplug you can’t ignore this, wisdom of the voiceless
Remedies are bountiful and surround us
From the garden to the farthest, prayers made of star dust

Find your healing in the music that calls you
The voice that enthralls you, what do you belong to?
Eyes out! There’s the setting of the sun
Give thanks to each and everyone

The lesson is the Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands

I believe in bending backwards and extending
My traps trip back until the message is in action
The yard is feeding, stop stark the disbelieving
‘Cause the garden holds the shards, the medicine is in the
seeds when

We hold tight to our right to protect and
We know our might is ten fold in connection
Our elders hold them bright lights, we protect them
The medicine is evident: the wolf, the hawk, the bear clan

We hold tight to our right to protect and
We know our might is ten fold in connection
Our elders hold them bright lights, we protect them
The medicine is evident: the wolf, the hawk, the bear clan

Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands

Musixmatch.com
Lyrics copyright : legal lyrics licensed by MusiXmatch.

No unauthorized reproduction of lyric. Lyrics powered by http://www.musixmatch.com

SongLyricSunday 12/8/18

It’s Saturday but I won’t be able to do a post tomorrow.

I knew exactly the song I wanted but when I wrote today’s date, I burst into tears.

38 years ago today we lost John Lennon. I was stopped on the I 90 bridge in rush hour traffic.

I was searching for music, but every station was playing “Imagine”. Oh God, I knew immediately what that meant.

Back then, I also burst into tears .

You know how, in traffic, you can catch people movement in the car next to you? I turned to see a young man, way younger than me, also sobbing. We locked eyes for a long, long time, just crying. We had both just heard, and we knew it.

What an incredibly powerful and intimate moment. I’ll never forget his eyes.

 

And this version is from one of my favorite movies…ever. I am an all-the-way-out-of-the-closet Mush Head!! But if you like a good “teacher” movie, this is a must.

 

Now I’m going to go hug my beautiful, beautiful boys….

 

 

Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 12/9/18

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