Happy Mother’s Day from Chosen Perspectives “Place” for WPC 5-9-18

Place in the World

This may be a stretch but I wrote the following letter on this Mother’s Day morning to all the wonderful Mom’s in my life. It may not be a town or region but I myself have always felt most “at home” when I am immersed into motherhood…where ever I am. It is definitely my favorite place in the world

 
Dear Beautiful Mothers:

It is such a beautiful morning. I am sitting outside with my coffee, and I just told James, I feel a little like a Disney heroine this morning…like maybe Snow White? I am surrounded by singing birds, bunnies, squirrels and my favorite crows (who come to my call each day). Surely, the seven dwarfs will show up soon…

I am thinking about what Motherhood has meant to me in my life.

I feel such overwhelming gratitude today, Mother’s Day, 2018, even though I had to start “mothering” at such a young age. I did a lousy, uninformed job of it with my younger sisters. (I did do a great job of it with Fluffy, the Duck and with Moose, my very first dog though.)

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Can you guess who cut all of our bangs???

But what I got from that experience of early mothering was my life’s “calling”. I have been a mother, in one form or another for my entire life. I have never wondered if it was the right “job” for me. And I continue to be absolutely amazed that, for a large part of my adult life, I actually got paid to be a professional Mom…to hundreds…a few of whom, still honor me with that title today. Amazing! Unexpected! And what a privilege!

I lost my own mother so young but was blessed to have many teachers, mentors, counselors, borrowed Moms, and relatives who all gave me a little mothering along my path. My “adopted” Elaine/Mom took that job on in such a serious and permanent way, she was my mother for more than twice the number of years I got to have my first Mom.

One of my most important and beloved Mentor/Teacher/Auntie/Moms has been Jean Clarke. Lucky for me she taught me very early in our almost 50-year long relationship, that none of us can ever have too many good Mom’s! So, I have tried to live that philosophy…mothering others when I can and accepting that from others when I need it.

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Elaine/Mom is on the left and Jean Clarke on the right

When Michael was in his early twenties, I apologized to him for having to be gone so much during his school years. As a single mom, there were years when I worked 3 jobs and was in school full time!! (How did I ever do that??) He said the kindest thing ever. He said “Mom, it’s OK. Don’t you realize what you did for me? I was never alone. You surrounded me with lots of other mothers to take care of me.”

Michael very young

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Anyway, I wanted you each to know I think about you on this day.

Those of you who helped me raise Michael…

Those who trusted me to mother you…

Those who mothered me (and those who generously shared your mothers with me) …

Those in my tribe who still mother me today…

Those still mothering younger children with such dedication, creativity and love…

Those who mothered your children so beautifully, they have now become lovely adults…

And those who may still be waiting for the return of that one kid you mothered who has needed to be so very far away from you…I really understand that one…

But the Mom I am most grateful for today is my daughter’s mother, Barbara. I could not raise that beautiful little baby girl and I had to wonder for more than 20 years what mother my daughter had been given to. Now, I know the answer and what a wonderful, kind, loving, open-hearted mother she is. It shows up in her daughter, our daughter…

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I am blessed beyond belief to have my daughter’s family in my life.

Happy Mother’s Day and thanks to you all.

I couldn’t really send out enough thank-you bouquets, so I made you all a slide show from my morning walk. I hope you enjoy it.

 

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Love you all,

Kathie

 

PS My sweet neighbor, Vasantha, recently gave me an out of the blue, and for no occasion gift, the very best kind! She gave me two pieces of jewelry she said reminded her of me; a ring (blue and silver) and a Two-Cat pin, complete with moving tails. She wrote a lovely card that said “to one who nurtures birds with broken wings, embraces stray cats, and gives shelter to folks wholeheartedly…”

My motherhood recognized…unsolicited. What a gift!

PS Again-And who would have ever thought at this point in my life I would have also earned the title of BUG MOTHER!!!

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Final PS, I promise- Don’t even let me get started on Grand-mothering!!!

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Sound of Silence for WPC 1/17/18

Silence

I love my son…more than anything else…in the way only the single mother of an only child can understand.

He and his sons live with me now. They are here to help me out.

I imagined his moving in with me would enhance our relationship…we are both old enough to be true friends now. He is 45. I am 69. I thought we would talk all the time, every day!

But his life as a single Dad is packed!

So it is loudly silent around here sometimes.

Music has always been a bond for us and one day, when I had almost become dissatisfied with his silence, he sat me down to share a music video with me. He told me the first time through I should be very patient, keep my eyes closed, and wait for it.

I did.

By the second run through, we were holding hands and crying, both so f-ing moved by this amazing performance.

You may well have heard it before. I have even posted about it before but if you haven’t, treat yourself to a listen, with an open mind and heart (and your volume cranked up!!!)

Ironic to be posting a song when the theme this week is silence, but how could I not share it?

Here is “Sound of Silence” by Disturbed.

Remember, don’t judge, just wait for it….It is everything BUT Silence!

Weathered for WPC-an embarrassing re-post

Weathered

This seems like a great picture post for the theme this week, “Weathered”.

But pretty shocking and uncomfortable to share so be kind. (Smiley, winky emoji here!)

 

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/02/11/time-warning-to-young-women-rated-r-for-terror/

SongLyricSunday 11/19/17 Growing Older

Oh Helen, what a sensitive subject for me these days, as I am really feeling my age.

I asked James what song he thought of when I said “getting old”. Immediately he said  “When I’m 64” by the Beatles. A few years back that would have been my choice also but since that number is behind me, I think I’ll take the opposite approach now.

Personal history of the song I chose. Along with many other therapists, for many years we did a 5-day long immersion-type therapeutic retreat called Experiencing Enough. Originally designed based on the belief that almost every single issue in people’s lives, as well as in the world, can be traced back to the mistaken belief that there just isn’t enough to go around for everyone. Siblings fight over scarcity. Marriages end. Companies fold. Religions compete. And wars are fought over this erroneous idea. (This was back in the 1980’s and 90’s when there still might have been enough. Now I’m not so sure…)

Anyway, one of the main songs we played and sang was Forever Young…to address the idea that there was not enough “time”.

So that is my song choice for this week’s theme. “Forever Young”, written by Bob Dylan.

Now comes the hard choice, whose version of this song?? So many amazing musicians have covered this classic. You can read about it on Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forever_Young_(Bob_Dylan_song)

But I have to say, my favorite is still by Joan Baez. Here is an older version (with lyrics)

 

I encourage you to also check out the 2016 YouTube video of a Joan Baez concert called

All Star 75th Birthday Celebration

Joan and many other famous musicians who join her, put on a show that can change the way you look at aging. I found it so inspirational. The video is set up so you can click at the beginnings of each song (and each new performer that joins her), and skip ahead if you wish. Forever Young is the final song. Not the best quality but so worth watching. (Some night when there is nothing on TV if you must.) She is amazing and many of her guests are similar ages, so they are all models for aging with passion and beauty.

Enjoy!

 

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Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 11/19/17

SongLyricSunday 11-5-17 Theme “FIRE”

Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 11/5/17

Each week Helen asks us to find a song for the theme she has chosen. It has been so much fun to hear new music and share some older tunes! The theme this week is FIRE!

Right after I thought of Fire and Rain by James Taylor, this song peeked through a psychedelic memory haze….

Just watch the beginning of this video (or the whole thing if you want to see the lyrics) to see how long ago rock musicians started dramatically expressing “darkness” in their music…not unlike so many groups today, but with way less developed sound, sight, stage and special effects!! Back in the 1960’s, this guy was something else!! He could take you on “A Trip” without needing any mind altering substances!

Now watch THIS one. Bless his heart, Arthur Brown is pretty spry for a 75 year old Rocker!!

I found this quote on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Brown_(musician)

“Though Brown has had limited commercial success, he has been a significant influence on a wide range of musicians and artists and due to his operatic vocal style, wild stage persona and concepts, he is considered a pioneer of shock rock and progressive rock and influential on heavy metal music.”

Great theme!