SongLyricSunday 9/30/18 theme “Search”

Oh boy, I accidentally did a whopper piece of personal therapy this morning, searching for a song about Search.

I immediately thought of all my life long searches!

First, my youth, I searched for my biological father who left before I was born. I know, in this day and age, it should be easy right? Well, his name was Michael John Kelly. (Might as well have been John Smith!) I started at 13 years old, looking up that name in local libraries. They used to carry phone books from all over the United States, so, using my babysitting money, I would write post cards to as many addresses as I could afford postage for.

Then, in my twenties, I started searching for my daughter, who I had to give up for someone else to raise.

I’ve written about her several times. One example:

https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/05/14/song-lyric-sunday-mothers-day-2017/

Here’s the piece of work I did this morning.

In thinking about a song for today’s theme, I realized even though I had the best (step) Dad in the world, and have found, and dearly love, my relationship with my daughter, I am still searching. Sometimes quietly, in the back ground, but sometimes, frantically, like my life depends on finding…what?? I don’t really know. (Well, I do, but that’s another post…)

At 70 years old, there are so many other things I still and always searched for that are unlikely now. That’s not me giving up. That’s the healthiest part of me, gently and lovingly, coercing me back into the present moment.

I guess that pushy voice, my “Guardian”, has always been there, Sometimes it’s audible and sometimes it is blocked by unfinished grief…but it’s constant and reliable when I am willing and able to listen, to hear.

And most importantly, to accept that it is there for ME, not just my clients, my friends, my family, not all the other lost souls I share that voice with when I forget to listen for myself.

You go Alanis! Thanks for always sharing your “therapy” with us in your music!!

You, you who smiled when you’re in pain
You who soldiered through the profane
They were distracted and shut down
So why, why would you talk to me at all
Such words were dishonorable and in vain
Their promise as solid as a fog
And where was your watchman then
I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care, your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all as your guardian
You, you in the chaos feigning sane
You who has pushed beyond what’s humane
Them as the ghostly tumbleweed
And where was your watchman then
I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care, your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all as your guardian
Now no more smiling mid crest fall
No more managing unmanageables
No more holding still in the hailstorm
Now enter your watch woman
I’ll be your keeper for life as your guardian
I’ll be your warrior of care, your first warden
I’ll be your angel on call, I’ll be on demand
The greatest honor of all as your guardian
Songwriters: Guy Sigsworth / Alanis Nadine Morissette
Guardian lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 9/30/18

 

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SYW (Share Your World) for 1/22/18

The questions posed by Cee Neuner in this innovative challenge:

List 2 things you have to be happy about?

Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewelry?

Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

 

My Answers:

List 2 things you have to be happy about? 

  1. I am so happy that James is home. He’s been in this 2 weeks here and 2 weeks gone cycle. It is a little hard on us because we both do really well being alone so there is a big adjustment on both ends of his travel: when he leaves, remembering the comfort of solitude, and when he returns, adjusting again to the joys of sharing the everyday life again.

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2. I am relieved and blissed out (oh, it is too a word!!) that my 17 year old “Heart-Cat” is still alive since I was told back in October he might only have days to live. He definitely has kidney disease and has lost a ton of weight, but he is still here and as ornery as ever.

Well, maybe not. This is a cat who, for 17 years, has let no one pet him but me. And even that never included him being on my lap…but these days, he accepts pets from everyone and will sit on my lap for a whole hour if I let him.

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Have you ever owned a rock, pet rock, or gem that is not jewelry?

I have been a “rock hound” since I was a small child. My Dad, in his quiet genius, got us a rock polisher. We would find rocks on the beaches and from the mountains and everywhere in between. Then we would wait…literally for months. Opening that polisher was a miracle every time. I learned so much from that experience, especially about delayed gratification and memory and anchoring experiences. I could write a book about all the lessons from this amazing, covert teacher. (Oh wait, I AM writing that book. My Dad is who taught me about choosing perspectives.)

Early in my therapy practice, I learned that some clients really needed concrete reminders of the things they were leaning, so, being my father’s daughter, I gave them Quartz, Lapis, Hematite or Amethyst hearts….and over the years, hundreds of polished rocks.

And, I have a basket of what’s left of a really old collection of pieces of polished petrified wood, from long before it was illegal. Not exactly rocks, but in my mind they qualify as “gems”.  (There is a great story there, too long for today’s post but this has reminded me to write about it.)

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Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?

Oh I am definitely a hugger. You might even say I have hugged for a living for more than 40 years.

I’ll just let that sit there and see if you have any questions.

 

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week?

David Letterman’s new Netflix show, called My Next Guest Needs No Introduction. His first interview was with President Barack Obama. I laughed and I cried, and I longed for more of the intelligence, humor, depth and light these two men bring.

What a waste……..

 

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Song Lyrics Sunday 1/21/18 Comfort

Well, today’s theme sent me a few years into the past.

Back in the 1980’s, 90’s, and early 2000’s. I had a huge therapy practice, in a huge, supportive Therapy Community.

Music, in many styles and forms, was a huge part of the work I did. I would play music for my groups or hand-pick songs for individual clients. I would also give the homework assignment to go out and find a theme song (“I will Not Be Broken” by Bonnie Raitt) or a power song (“I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty). It was a great, right brain way for clients to continue their personal work outside the group therapy setting. We would use music in group to relax, let down, access emotions, get energized, fight back, you name it.

And I used the more quiet pieces for visualizations, hypnosis, etc.

A funny story…I heard an album once (on a homemade cassette, just to let you know how long ago) that I fell in love with. It was almost all instrumental and quite different from the rock music I usually assigned to clients. Maybe it stirred something in my cellular memory because it was so Irish. (My name was Kathleen Kelly!)

I thought the name of the album was Crystal River, so I searched everywhere for it…combed through record stores, called radio stations, etc. I really wanted this album. Every song was so different and effectively triggered or enhanced different moods.

I could never find it.

Then I had a dream one night, with this very music playing in the background. In the dream I said out loud to whomever,

“Oh, it’s not called ‘Crystal River’. It’s called ‘Jewel Lake‘!!”

Memory…a funny thing. And dreams, so helpful sometimes.

Anyway, here is the song I thought of for today’s theme of Comfort. It’s the only song on the album with Lyrics. It’s also a beautiful video.

The rest of this album is great also, not all quiet and comforting like this song, some very energizing and uplifting. I think you can sample it here.

https://heartsofspacerecords.bandcamp.com/album/jewel-lake

I really must have my grandson’s help me find a current way to play music like this.

Wonder if I can get it on Spotify…..

 

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Weathered for WPC-an embarrassing re-post

Weathered

This seems like a great picture post for the theme this week, “Weathered”.

But pretty shocking and uncomfortable to share so be kind. (Smiley, winky emoji here!)

 

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/02/11/time-warning-to-young-women-rated-r-for-terror/

In Honor of Dr. King

WordPress will not let me re-blog or add photos right now but here are the posts I want to share again today. Maybe you saw them before but in case you didn’t…

Please do comment. I feel so alone with this these days….

 

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/01/18/more-to-honor-mlk/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/01/18/in-honor-of-dr-king/

https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/01/16/dr-martin-luther-king-part-2-2/

 

 

Photo Favorites – 2017 for WPC

2017 Favorites

Even though the pictures were not my best in terms of quality, I think I will remember photographing the pair of Bald Eagles who chose my neighborhood in which to hang out last Spring and Summer.

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I could reliably find them most early mornings or late evenings in the tree right in front of my house. I swear, they were there to watch the sunrise and sunset each day, facing East starting just before 5 AM and back again later, looking West as the sun sank below the horizon each night.

I rarely saw then actually arrive or take off again so capturing this next shot was a thrill.

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But the highlight for me came long after they were gone, off to wherever Bald Eagles Winter here in the Northwest.

I had developed quite a sense of safety and inspiration from their daily visits. It is easy to feel “watched over” by one of these majestic birds, and luckily for me, easy to define that experience as being protected (as opposed to hunted) during a particularly painful and challenging time in my life.

I have to admit, I was surprised by how much I missed seeing them every day.

In the late Fall I was composing a post about how dark and dreary it can get here in the Northwest, and how much I missed the brightness of Spring and Summer. I picked a photograph (out of hundreds) to show the beauty and light of Spring. and it was not until I was previewing the post that I saw my Protector in the shot I chose…still there, protecting me…

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This is one of my favorite photos of the year, maybe ever.

And the lessons abound about looking at life more closely so that I don’t miss all of the beauty it has to offer.