OK, it’s really getting long now…so it’s time to seriously shift our perspectives and consider instituting new, healthy daily habits into our “new normal” lives. Along with taking care of ourselves physically, we simply must attend to those other parts that are being insidiously drained, even damaged during this pandemic.
Here’s one of my regular self-care habits, a potential, inspirational resource, as well as a couple of new musical treats.
This is an excerpt from the newsletter of one of my favorite people, Karen Drucker. She is a talented musician, comedienne and public speaker.
Almost anything will work again if you unplug it for
awhile…including you.
Anne Lamott
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Joseph Goldstein
This is precisely the time when artist go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.
Toni Morrison
I have to admit I have gone through every emotion during this last month of shelter in place: thrilled to be home; deeper connection with my hubby; anxiety about gigs cancelling and how to pay bills; feeling like I need alone time; happy to not have to fly followed almost immediately by wondering if I will ever be on a plane going to a gig again! Back and forth – happy, panic, bliss, fear. Lather, rinse, repeat!
The most positive thing for me, though, during this time has been connecting back to doing music. My friend, Alan Cohen, has a great expression: “Make the main thing be the main thing!” I realize that with all the gigs and traveling and hyper-busy-ness, I let the joy of creating music get pushed to the back burner. It seemed to me I just didn’t have the time. What has become clear to me as I analyze what really lights me up is how writing and performing healing music helps my soul. When I get emails from people telling me that a certain chant helped them get through cancer treatments, or how singing along with me during this challenging time we are in is easing their anxiety – these messages validate what the main thing is for me – creating music. Right now, what feels like a suspension in time also feels sacred to me to be able to have the space to write and record again.
The greatest gift along this healing path that I have received was delivered this month – a beautiful 64-page booklet produced by Unity Churches featuring my “Heart of Healing” songs. It includes essays written by various writers and Unity ministers, with affirmations around each of the themes that the songs convey. This is a free booklet available to anyone. Even though this project was started last year it seems so perfect for what we are all going through right now. For information on how to receive your booklet contact: The Heart of Healing
So like the quote above from Toni Morrison, I am committed to do my part in helping us all heal by writing songs that, hopefully, will uplift, heal, and connect us as we all get through this challenging time together. I wish you peace during this time and hope that we will meet in person soon!
Here is Karen’s calendar (lots of virtual options) and a way to hear her music and to get her newsletter.
If Karen isn’t your cup of tea, find a person or organization who speaks yourlanguage, fires up your brain, and touches your heart.
And really important, keep access to it easy, handy for those days when you need something to balance out the bad news we are be inundated with daily! (I read the Greater Good Science Center articles.)
When all else fails, music can make us think differently, feel deeply, or just smile!!
And this really fun one that was around even before this Virus took over our lives!
Look up more songs by Playing for Change ! I bet you’ll find something you like.
That’s it for now. As always, I love comments, any kind, and I’m not getting many, so if you “like” this post, take a minute to write me something, just a sentence will do!!
(Scroll to the bottom and hit play if you’d like music while you browse my SIGNS!)
I love Signs. I take pictures of signs all over the country. Some are funny, some thought provoking, some are informational, and some are great just to prove you were there!
We spend a lot of time in Natchez, Mississippi. Wonderful old signs with history lessons everywhere.
Antebellum home called Edelweiss. James played here as a kid. Now owned by author Greg IslesOn the wall at Edelweiss. (Read the top part!)
Mississippi may be lacking in some things but HUMOR is not one of them.
Best Tamales anywhere!!
And these are also in front of Fat Mama’s Hot Tamales!
I love a sign that makes me laugh out loud…
Then there are pretty signs…
Or mind-blowing signs…..
I couldn’t believe we were finally here!
Or signs that cause a double take…say WHAT now???
But my favorite sign is in my neighbors front yard!
Thanks for coming along. Hope you enjoyed the tour.
Background Music!!!
SIGNS by Five Man Electrical Band
Lyrics:
And the sign said “Long-haired freaky people need not apply” So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said “You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you’ll do” So I took off my hat, I said “Imagine that. Huh! Me workin’ for you!”
Whoa-oh-oh Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?
And the sign said anybody caught trespassin’ would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and-a yelled at the house, “Hey! What gives you the right?”
“To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in” “If God was here he’d tell you to your face, Man, you’re some kinda sinner”
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign? Now, hey you, mister, can’t you read? You’ve got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat You can’t even watch, no you can’t eat You ain’t supposed to be here The sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside Ugh! [Lead Guitar]
And the sign said, “Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray” But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn’t have a penny to pay
So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign I said, “Thank you, Lord, for thinkin’ ’bout me. I’m alive and doin’ fine.” Wooo!
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign? Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Sign Sign, sign
Re-released in 1971 on the A-side, “Signs” reached No. 3 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Writers
Les Emmerson
Licensed to YouTube by
UMG (on behalf of UME Custom Premium); BMI – Broadcast Music Inc., PEDL, LatinAutor, Sony ATV Publishing, LatinAutor – SonyATV, Warner Chappell, CMRRA, UNIAO BRASILEIRA DE EDITORAS DE MUSICA – UBEM, LatinAutor – Warner Chappell, SOLAR Music Rights Management, and 4 Music Rights Societies
Wise men say that rushing is violence
And so is your silence when it’s rooted in compliance
To stand firm in loving defiance, make art your alliance
Give voice to the fire
Move people to the beat of the wind
Gather yourself and begin, to dance the song until it ends
We are winners, champions of the light
Forming in numbers and might, keep the truth close in sight
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Find your teachers in the voice of the forests
Unplug you can’t ignore this, wisdom of the voiceless
Remedies are bountiful and surround us
From the garden to the farthest, prayers made of star dust
Find your healing in the music that calls you
The voice that enthralls you, what do you belong to?
Eyes out! There’s the setting of the sun
Give thanks to each and everyone
The lesson is the Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
I believe in bending backwards and extending
My traps trip back until the message is in action
The yard is feeding, stop stark the disbelieving
‘Cause the garden holds the shards, the medicine is in the
seeds when
We hold tight to our right to protect and
We know our might is ten fold in connection
Our elders hold them bright lights, we protect them
The medicine is evident: the wolf, the hawk, the bear clan
We hold tight to our right to protect and
We know our might is ten fold in connection
Our elders hold them bright lights, we protect them
The medicine is evident: the wolf, the hawk, the bear clan
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Medicine Woman, Medicine Man
Walking with grace, I know your face, and I trust your hands
Lyrics copyright : legal lyrics licensed by MusiXmatch.
I try to write a Thank You letter to the Veterans in my life, every year on this day…also on Memorial Day.
I also have to admit when I started writing these yearly notes, I did so from a place of “universal guilt”… a cousin to that instant feeling I have when I spot a traffic cop following me, even when I know I didn’t do anything wrong.
“something happening here…”
But I realized a few years back that though many of my generations’ brothers and sisters treated each other poorly…well, horrifically…during the conflict over the Vietnam War and its Veterans, I personally never threw pig’s blood at a returning soldier.
Like many of my peers at the time, I didn’t really understand who exactly to be mad at- the military vets, or those who drafted them.
“what it is ain’t exactly clear”
So I focused my energy on Peace instead.
I was that girl with a wreath of flowers in my hair, who shoved daisy’s into barrels of the guns of local law enforcement, clad in riot gear. Young men about my same age, I have to add, who were just doing their own confusing jobs.
“there’s a man with a gun over there”
In the 1990’s I tried to open my mind to a new generation of returning veterans, so badly wanting them to have a different experience than those brave men and women, drafted or not, returning from Vietnam.
And then 9/11 happened and did a permanent number on my heart and soul. It was the birth for me of a new level of awareness. People the world over were responding to “attack” event with such dark black or white hot absolutism.
That all coincided with my father’s death so his lessons to me as a kid naturally came rushing back with a warm, loving vengeance. I considered, for the first time really, what he had been trying to say.
There is always more than one way to look at something.
“nobody’s right and everybody’s wrong”
So now, if I say thank you to a stranger in a military uniform, or when I send out my gratitude, in a note or blog post, I feel no guilt. I still don’t like or understand war, but I have room in my head and heart now for many, many more ways to fight for peace.
And I am grateful, and deeply respectful for those who choose the military (and law enforcement) as their vehicle to accomplish that.
This year, my sweet James wrote the letter below to his family. He and his siblings have had a wonderful, daily tradition, thanks to their 96 year old mother’s deathbed request. She insisted that they all stay in touch, even though they have lived across the country from each other. The emails to each other, all these years later, is one of my favorite all- time uses of the internet.
James says I can share today’s note with you too. (I have altered it only to remove other people’s personal stuff.)
Today, we remember those of us who have served and died in service to freedom of expression, religion and political choice. I must admit that I am distressed by the present political situation in this country and the direction we are taking. Having said that, I honor all men and women who have participated in protecting us and giving us the right to chose our lives in a turbulent world where such freedom is becoming less and less available. I have heard from the men I served with in Nam and am reminded of the quality of men I was lucky enough to have shared that experience with.
I had a fun trip to the islands. He picked me up at the ferry landing. We did a couple of errands in town, then joined a group of men for
The Stand Up Men Against Domestic Violence
on the courthouse lawn to remind citizens that violence against domestic partners is not acceptable as a solution to personal problems. These men have been doing this every Friday for the past four years. They organized after a couple of domestic violence deaths on the island reminded them how prevalent this problem is in our society. Two deaths were recorded there in the past twelve months so it continues to be an important issue for those who suffer at the hands of their partners.
These guys are truly Veterans of their own local “war” against domestic violence. And they deserve to be honored, celebrated!!
Afterward, we went home where we a nice lunch and we relaxed the rest of the afternoon. About five pm, started a fire in the fire pit and we sat around with an adult beverage until men began to show up for the poker game. By seven, there were eighteen men there. We adjourned to the poker tables and played poker ’til around ten thirty, then back to the fire pit for another round of chat before everyone trickled away for home. We cleaned up the poker mess before retiring sometime between twelve thirty and one am.
(I included the description of their gathering after because it demonstrates for me that there are many really wonderful men in the world, a message not so clear in the media these days. Their “Poker Game” has been a monthly tradition in this smaller community for around 20 years. They rotate the home where it takes place. They have what they call a “Party Bag” (different from a Gift Bag) where each person throws in some of the money they win (they play with quarters) and the money is used for things like replacing the worn out felt on their vintage poker table, or, get this, a nice night on the town with the wives! These guys also golf together, and once a year, they take the Poker Game to a beautiful mountain town many miles away, for a retreat weekend of golf and poker.
I love the men in this small town. I have witnessed several times over the years, how one guy can put out a call for help (or not put it out) and the rest just show up, barn-raising style. It’s just the way they live.
James ends his letter with:
We plan on accepting Applebee’s free dinner for Veteran’s this afternoon. My worker, John is a Navy vet so he’ll get a free meal too.
Again, thank you to all who served, men and women, who made the choice, regardless of their reason. It was a precious, brave and probably unbeknownst to you at the time, a healing decision to make for all of us.
There’s something happening here
What it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It’s s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
There is a whole HUGE category of people for whom MUSIC speaks way louder and more clearly than any amount of political discussion or rhetoric! Just ask any true Hippie or Flower Child!
MORE MUSIC!!
Here is a second attempt at re-blogging my friend Karuna’s post today.
I”m going to put the main song I want to pass on directly in here, in case the re-blog doesn’t work again, but do visit her sight also. She always has great, beautiful, inspiring stuff there.
The story behind the need for this playlist in the first place is way too long (and very personal) so I will spare you. The short version is this. The combination of music represents the ending of the very best, most fulfilling, most love-filled 25 years of my life.
And even though I put together this CD in the first place for a very specific, very close group of dear friends…chosen family, really…I have found this group of songs really helpful in my therapy practice for several clients needing to grieve over the years.
The info about, and lyrics for, each song are available online (would have made this post way too long) and I hope if any of this music speaks to you (sings to you?) that you’ll research further.
Grieving the changes in Relationships
Miles Away by Marc Cohn
Sometimes we just need to be in the feelings for a while.
Help me Understand by Juliette Wyers
Then comes the struggle for meaning.
We Just Disagree by Dave Mason
Sometimes this is the only thing that makes sense,
Thank U by Alanis Morrisette
And then we can move into Gratitude, even for the difficult
Thank You by Karen Drucker
Slowly adding to our list of appreciations
My Thanksgiving by Don Henley
Until we realize, we wouldn’t really trade a minute of it,
Love Heals the Wounds it Makes by Eva Cassidy
And any left over pain will slowly mend,
I Miss You by Randy Newman
Leading us back to our original state of Love and oneness….
Looking through some photographs I found inside a drawer
I was taken by a photograph of you
There were one or two I know that you would have liked a little more
But they didn’t show your spirit quite as true
You were turning ’round to see who was behind you
And I took your childish laughter by surprise
And at the moment that my camera happened to find you
There was just a trace of sorrow in your eyes
Now the things that I remember seem so distant and so small
Though it hasn’t really been that long a time
What I was seeing wasn’t what was happening at all
Although for a while, our path did seem to climb
When you see through love’s illusions, there lies the danger
And your perfect lover just looks like a perfect fool
So you go running off in search of a perfect stranger
While the loneliness seems to spring from your life
Like a fountain from a pool
Fountain of sorrow, fountain of light
You’ve known that hollow sound of your own steps in flight
You’ve had to hide sometimes, but now you’re all right
And it’s good to see your smiling face tonight
Now for you and me it may not be that hard to reach our dreams
But that magic feeling never seems to last
And while the future’s there for anyone to change, still you know it seems
It would be easier sometimes to change the past
I’m just one or two years and a couple of changes behind you
In my lessons at love’s pain and heartache school
Where if you feel too free and you need something to remind you
There’s this loneliness springing up from your life
Like a fountain from a pool
Fountain of sorrow, fountain of light
You’ve known that hollow sound of your own steps in flight
You’ve had to hide sometimes but now you’re all right
And it’s good to see your smiling face tonight
Fountain of sorrow, fountain of light
You’ve known that hollow sound of your own steps in flight
You’ve had to struggle, you’ve had to fight
To keep understanding and compassion in sight
You could be laughing at me, you’ve got the right
But you go on smiling so clear and so bright
Well, the theme today is Siblings or Brother/Sister.
For me, a heart-breaking theme…
I was just telling James last night, after watching one of those poignant long lost family reunion TV shows, I wish I could find some surprise, unknown siblings…from my biological father, whom I never met. Not that I didn’t search for the guy for much of my younger life. But looking for Michael John Kelly, I just never had any luck. Way, WAY too common an Irish name. Even with all the “Ancestry” type options we have these days, I have kind of given up.
I just wish I could have some kind of healthy reunion with the sisters I did have growing up. Pretty unlikely though.
I have to admit that along with my joy at Helen’s experiences with HER sister, I also experience some envy.
So, I thought of this song by Cris Williamson called “Sister”. I’ve posted it before but am not sure I included the above backstory. It’s a beautiful song, worth another listen, even if you already know it. I can close my eyes and imagine myself NOT the oldest sibling, taking care of everyone else, but having an older sister singing these words to me!!
Sister
All of the earth
Child of God
Just one of among the family
And you can count on me
to share the load
and I will always help you
hold your burden and I will be the one to help you
ease your pain.
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
I will fold you in my arms
like a white wing dove
Shine in your soul
your spirit is crying
spirit is crying
Born of the earth
Child of God
Just one among the family
And you can count on me to share the load
And I will always help you
Hold your burdens
and I will be the one to help you ease your pain.
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
I am your friend
PS Here’s some info on Cris Williamson, a wonderful and talented singer/songwriter.
I had the extreme pleasure of being at a Bonnie Raitt concert once, when she called Cris out on the stage to sing with her. They did “Angel from Montgomery”. Oh my GOD! What a beautiful combination of voices.
First song that came to mind so I’m going with it…..
Dedicated to one of my very best friends in high school, a talented musician.
I wrote this last year for his obituary guest page.
“Jerry was my best friend in high school. We covered many deep subjects in many long conversations throughout our time at Natchez High. And we sang together, both of us tenors, in a choir, as well as in the “Duzin Cuzins”, a folk singing group. As happens, somehow time sped by but we were reunited at our 40th high school reunion. He was still Jerry…sweet, funny, talented and ethical to a degree few ever reach. I weep for his much loved family, and wish I could be there to celebrate his life.”
Jerry would have passionately agreed with Helen’s childhood, end-of-the-world story.
This song always brought tears to my eyes during the long stretch Jerry and I were out of touch. Made me think of him right up to the end.
Wait, that was WAY to heavy and sad.
Here’s your comic relief. After all, the end may be near…….
And once again, WAIT. I just found THIS on YouTube. This is my dear friend Jerry’s son, Tyler Flowers. Worth a listen even though the lyrics don’t exactly fit today’s theme. But with a topic like this, I figure we need all the good music we can find!
