Happy Mother’s Day from Chosen Perspectives “Place” for WPC 5-9-18

Place in the World

This may be a stretch but I wrote the following letter on this Mother’s Day morning to all the wonderful Mom’s in my life. It may not be a town or region but I myself have always felt most “at home” when I am immersed into motherhood…where ever I am. It is definitely my favorite place in the world

 
Dear Beautiful Mothers:

It is such a beautiful morning. I am sitting outside with my coffee, and I just told James, I feel a little like a Disney heroine this morning…like maybe Snow White? I am surrounded by singing birds, bunnies, squirrels and my favorite crows (who come to my call each day). Surely, the seven dwarfs will show up soon…

I am thinking about what Motherhood has meant to me in my life.

I feel such overwhelming gratitude today, Mother’s Day, 2018, even though I had to start “mothering” at such a young age. I did a lousy, uninformed job of it with my younger sisters. (I did do a great job of it with Fluffy, the Duck and with Moose, my very first dog though.)

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Can you guess who cut all of our bangs???

But what I got from that experience of early mothering was my life’s “calling”. I have been a mother, in one form or another for my entire life. I have never wondered if it was the right “job” for me. And I continue to be absolutely amazed that, for a large part of my adult life, I actually got paid to be a professional Mom…to hundreds…a few of whom, still honor me with that title today. Amazing! Unexpected! And what a privilege!

I lost my own mother so young but was blessed to have many teachers, mentors, counselors, borrowed Moms, and relatives who all gave me a little mothering along my path. My “adopted” Elaine/Mom took that job on in such a serious and permanent way, she was my mother for more than twice the number of years I got to have my first Mom.

One of my most important and beloved Mentor/Teacher/Auntie/Moms has been Jean Clarke. Lucky for me she taught me very early in our almost 50-year long relationship, that none of us can ever have too many good Mom’s! So, I have tried to live that philosophy…mothering others when I can and accepting that from others when I need it.

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Elaine/Mom is on the left and Jean Clarke on the right

When Michael was in his early twenties, I apologized to him for having to be gone so much during his school years. As a single mom, there were years when I worked 3 jobs and was in school full time!! (How did I ever do that??) He said the kindest thing ever. He said “Mom, it’s OK. Don’t you realize what you did for me? I was never alone. You surrounded me with lots of other mothers to take care of me.”

Michael very young

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Anyway, I wanted you each to know I think about you on this day.

Those of you who helped me raise Michael…

Those who trusted me to mother you…

Those who mothered me (and those who generously shared your mothers with me) …

Those in my tribe who still mother me today…

Those still mothering younger children with such dedication, creativity and love…

Those who mothered your children so beautifully, they have now become lovely adults…

And those who may still be waiting for the return of that one kid you mothered who has needed to be so very far away from you…I really understand that one…

But the Mom I am most grateful for today is my daughter’s mother, Barbara. I could not raise that beautiful little baby girl and I had to wonder for more than 20 years what mother my daughter had been given to. Now, I know the answer and what a wonderful, kind, loving, open-hearted mother she is. It shows up in her daughter, our daughter…

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I am blessed beyond belief to have my daughter’s family in my life.

Happy Mother’s Day and thanks to you all.

I couldn’t really send out enough thank-you bouquets, so I made you all a slide show from my morning walk. I hope you enjoy it.

 

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Love you all,

Kathie

 

PS My sweet neighbor, Vasantha, recently gave me an out of the blue, and for no occasion gift, the very best kind! She gave me two pieces of jewelry she said reminded her of me; a ring (blue and silver) and a Two-Cat pin, complete with moving tails. She wrote a lovely card that said “to one who nurtures birds with broken wings, embraces stray cats, and gives shelter to folks wholeheartedly…”

My motherhood recognized…unsolicited. What a gift!

PS Again-And who would have ever thought at this point in my life I would have also earned the title of BUG MOTHER!!!

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Final PS, I promise- Don’t even let me get started on Grand-mothering!!!

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SongLyricSunday 4-22-18–Theme “Sister”

Well, the theme today is Siblings or Brother/Sister.

For me, a heart-breaking theme…

I was just telling James last night, after watching one of those poignant long lost family reunion TV shows, I wish I could find some surprise, unknown siblings…from my biological father, whom I never met. Not that I didn’t search for the guy for much of my younger life. But looking for Michael John Kelly, I just never had any luck. Way, WAY too common an Irish name. Even with all the “Ancestry” type options we have these days, I have kind of given up.

I just wish I could have some kind of healthy reunion with the sisters I did have growing up. Pretty unlikely though.

I have to admit that along with my joy at Helen’s experiences with HER sister, I also experience some envy.

So, I thought of this song by Cris Williamson called “Sister”. I’ve posted it before but am not sure I included the above backstory. It’s a beautiful song, worth another listen, even if you already know it. I can close my eyes and imagine myself NOT the oldest sibling, taking care of everyone else, but having an older sister singing these words to me!!

Sister

All of the earth
Child of God
Just one of among the family

And you can count on me
to share the load
and I will always help you
hold your burden and I will be the one to help you
ease your pain.

Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend

I will fold you in my arms
like a white wing dove
Shine in your soul
your spirit is crying
spirit is crying

Born of the earth
Child of God
Just one among the family
And you can count on me to share the load
And I will always help you
Hold your burdens
and I will be the one to help you ease your pain.

Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend

Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend

I am your friend

PS Here’s some info on Cris Williamson, a wonderful and talented singer/songwriter.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cris_Williamson

I had the extreme pleasure of being at a Bonnie Raitt concert once, when she called Cris out on the stage to sing with her. They did “Angel from Montgomery”. Oh my GOD! What a beautiful combination of voices.

 

 

Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 4/22/18

 

 

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Check in from ChosenPerspectives 3/24/18

a little busy these days.

at the tail end of a five year long project.

 

We went from THIS…

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to THIS…

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So almost done…right??

Oh wait…there’s THIS…

 

Well, we still have 4 days until our best friends show up for an extended visit!! They helped us build this, from the ground up!!

 

FOUR DAYS!!!!!

YIKES!!!!

 

Maybe I’ll keep them outside for a while. It looks almost finished from out there!

Casa compound

We’ll put them in the B and no B, the building on the right, until the inside of the Casa is all ready! (It’s not really leaning like it looks)

Whew! What an accomplishment!!! I am so proud of James!!!

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Sigh…………..

Cee’s Share Your World 3-12-18

Questions this week are great!! Very thought provoking!

If a distant uncle dies and you were always his favorite and leaves you $50,000 (any currency) in his will, what would you do?

Put it in the bank. That would buy us another whole year in our house!!!!

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Bedraggled though she is, I adore my funky old house!

 

What sound or sounds do you love?

Have to agree with Cee, that it’s usually the ocean…but at this time of year it is the bird orchestra that tunes up and plays it’s Daily Opus…just before sunrise. It is truly spectacular! You probably have an orchestra in your area too. You may just need to get up early to hear it.

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Love the morning songs from my local covey

 

What’s your middle name?  Why?

I also have a middle-name story.

I never had one as a kid. Always just Kathie Bessey. Then I found out Mr. Bessey was not my biological father. So I rebelliously took it upon myself to add my birth father’s last name as my middle name. I became Kathie Kelly Bessey. Then I married my son’s father and again, still a little miffed about the childhood deceit I experienced, dropped the Bessey and became Kathie Kelly Arcide. That Arcide guy did not stick around for long but now it was my son’s name too, so I kept it.

Then, as time passed (and I did some serious personal therapy), all was forgiven so I added back in my “real” Dad’s name and became Kathie Kelly Bessey Arcide.

One of the best stories I have ever written is about that. You can read about it here…

https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/02/25/its-never-too-late/

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Dad about to “give me away”

 

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?

Honestly, I appreciated Blogging. The whole experience. The discipline to write and post often. The wonderful new friends I’ve made. A terrific excuse to carry my camera around with me everywhere. The kick in the butt to go for a walk even when I can barely move my legs, just because I might capture a photo for my blog!

I love all of it!

 

 

 

 

Share Your World – March 12, 2018

ShareYourWorld 3/5/18

Cee Neuner has all these great “challenges” to get us talking with each other, sharing photos, flowers, personal history, etc.

Today I am participating in her Share Your World challenge, four questions she poses (and answers herself) each week.

What did you or did not like about the first place you lived without your parents?

I loved having the option to go live with my aunt, uncle and cousins when, at 15 years old, I basically ran away.

But, having fled my childhood home to escape oppressive responsibility (way too much for my age), and ending up living with a completely different set of restrictions was really difficult.

Oh, and the complete culture shock of leaving the casual and delightful beach life of San Diego,

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only to find myself in Natchez, Mississippi…well, that was a huge adjustment.

Talk about Culture Shock!

What is your most favorite smell/scent?

the ocean………..

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Would you prefer snowy winters, or not, and why?

Absolutely NOT. Yeah, yeah snow is pretty and all, and it provides the means for one of the world’s most popular sporting activities, but as Steven Wright, the comedian, used to say if we were meant to go barreling down snowy mountainsides, god would have designed us with boards nailed to our feet…well, that’s not the right quote, and apparently I am very easily distracted because I just spent 40 delightful minutes listening to old Steven Wright comedy routines…looking for that quote.

I don’t like snowy winters…

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

I had a great week, appreciating life so much and capturing some pictures I really like! Here’s a slide show:

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Share Your World – March 5, 2018