A Swing and a Miss!!

OK you win some and you lose some. I get that. But it is so much harder to lose when you have been absolutely convinced that THIS time, it would be a WINNER for SURE!!

I believe that my duties as a grandmother are specifically limited. I do NOT get to “parent” my two amazing grandsons. Julius, who is 13 and Luca, 10 (for another week) depend on me to be that other adult in their lives that has the luxury of coming closer to unconditional love than either of their parents do. Even though they live with their father in my home, I do not have to crack the “do your homework” or “clean your room” whips. That’s their Dad’s job.

My self-imposed duties are clear to me though. I get to love them. I get to watch out for their safety. And my favorite, I get to teach them stuff, especially about our family’s history and traditions…

At Christmas time, it is not part of my job to be the one to give the “big” present each year. Again, that’s my son’s place and I never want to compete or even accidentally outshine him with his boys.

So I go for obscure, non-traditional gifts (no video games) and whenever possible, non-material. Gifts from Gramma are unexpected (sometimes unwanted) and always a bit weird. That’s OK with me. And I know some will land and some will fail! But most will be remembered.

Examples:

3 years ago, I made each a personal (Shutterfly) photo book of their lives so far. I think it got about a C+/B- grade from the boys.

2 years ago, I made them personalized “treasure boxes”. (They’ve always liked that concept). These boxes contained charms and totems and stickers that represented events in their lives. Each box also had a tiny tablet and mini pencil so they could guess, and then write down, what each token in and on their box signified. There was a prize for whoever guessed the most symbols. (Hey, do I know how to harness sibling rivalry or what??)

 

Last year, I gave them (all of us really) a family outing to a very cool local place. Maybe you have something like this in your area. It’s called the Boarding House. I have to admit I have some pretty strong judgments about how inundated our children are these days with all things electronic and technical…especially the whole video gaming addiction…so when I discovered the Boarding House, I was thrilled. It is a store/restaurant that sells almost every “board game” ever invented…not a single electronic game in the place! You can even go in and pick some games to try out at your table while enjoying a damn good meal. (Think the highest class “tavern food” EVER!)

This gift was NOT a hit because when they opened it, they had no idea what it was. They could not even grasp the concept of a game store without their coveted new video games for sale. (not an addiction, my ass!) It took 10 months for them to finally be willing to use their hefty Gramma gift certificate for dinner and games at the Boarding House. I’d say, eventually, this gift earned approximately a B-…but it was like pulling teeth.

This year, I thought I might finally earn an “A”. Oh well, best laid plans and all.

My son likes to expose the boys to a variety of different and special experiences in their lives. Wild and different restaurants. And last year, he bought them 3 piece suits and took them to the SYMPHONY!

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I thought they looked a bit Mafioso but maybe that’s fitting given their strong Italian heritage! 

Remember I said it was my self-imposed duty to teach them about Family Traditions? So, I combined my son’s determination to expose them to new things, and my childhood (and then Michael’s) tradition of weird food in our Christmas stockings, to provide a Christmas morning experience like no other. I knew it would be a HIT!! The boys love all the survival-type tv shows, especially when eating gross stuff is involved. So I did a lot of googling, shopped around, prepared a breakfast table, with a specific food challenge for each! (No crickets or ants involved…we are a Bug Household after all!) see

Here’s what they arrived to find for breakfast.

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mmmm, yummy!

The deal was, they had to read the research I printed about their given fruit, take at least one bite and then go back to the printed material to find a clue for a treasure hunt to their real present. A gift card to their favorite place to shop hidden around the house.

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Guava
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Sugar Cane
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Kumquats 
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Kiwano (Horned Fruit)
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My personal favorite, Buddha’s Hand (Citron family)

Great idea, eh? Expose them to something new. Teach them something old. I was so sure….

I think I earned maybe a D- !!

Oh well. The hidden $50 Amazon cards went some distance to save the day…

 

Song Lyric Sunday 1/1/2017

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/159573ef1cc770d6

Lousy video and the lyrics are not actually related to my current frame of mind but it’s still a great song and, it is actually Chicago in July, 1971. I would have been newly pregnant with baby Michael!

Story for me behind this song is that is was the one my son’s father and I claimed as “ours”, to the degree that we had “only the beginning” engraved onto our wedding bands. The words were so true for us at the time. BIG (but young) love there!

photoscan-2
Rick and me stopping at a gas station flower stand for my wedding bouquet on the way to be married in my childhood church in Pacific Beach. What you might not be able to see is that my dress is handmade (and BLUE, not WHITE) from a maternity pattern…yep, we were very pregnant!

Ironic, given how quickly the marriage ended, leaving me alone to raise my 3 year old.

But you know, that was also a beginning in so many ways. I really started becoming my best self after Michael’s father left and with lots of work, I actually became grateful for how that beginning came about.

As sweet Jennifer Day, from  The Iconophile said recently “a mess is full of potential”.

Was Pandora Framed?

michael-and-me-2
Me and my Mikey, a couple of years into our new beginning!!

So no excuses…get back out there in the world and DO something. Either that, or stay in and finish your damn BOOK! (By the way, that was to ME, not you…unless you needed a swift kick in the patootie also!)

Beginnings by Chicago
Lyrics

When I’m with you
It doesn’t matter where we are
Or what we’re doing
I’m with you, that’s all that matters

Time passes much too quickly
When we’re together laughing
I wish I could sing it to you, whoa oh
I wish I could sing it to you

Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Mostly I’m silent, hmm
Silent

When I kiss you
I feel a thousand different feelings
A cover of chills
All over my body
And when I feel them
I quickly try to decide which one
I should try to put into words, woah oh
Try to put into words

Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh

Only the beginning
Only just the start
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh

Written by Robert Lamm • Copyright © Peermusic Publishing, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Spirit Music Group, BMG Rights Management US, LLC
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PS Here is a current version…not bad for these aging rockers!! (better teeth anyway!)

The Sweetest Christmas Role Reversal ever!

I had the most delightful Holiday experience the other night.

It was one of those frosty ones we’ve had recently. They are still slightly rare here in the Northwest. I got home late, parked my car, went inside and unloaded stuff and then realized no one had gotten the mail. So, I bundled back up and trudged (well, it felt like trudging) back outside in the freezing cold to collect bills and hopefully, some holiday cards, from the mailbox. When I turned around to come back in, I decided to stop for a moment and look up to enjoy the stars that are so visible on this kind of crisp, clear night. As I’d hoped, they were stunning. But, what caught my eye was something in the tops of the two giant old trees in front of the house. There were a bunch, maybe hundreds, of white sparkles flitting in and on and around those trees!!

Instantly, in my mind, I was transported to a steaming hot summer night when I was just 7 years old. I was visiting my Aunt back in Prospect Heights, Illinois. I had a huge jar in my hands for collecting FIREFLIES!! They flitted and danced all around me, exactly like these were doing at the tops of my here and now trees.

I know I’m not crazy (at least most of the time) so I knew they couldn’t possibly be fireflies but what in the world were these pirouetting lights? Having just seen the movie Arrival, my mind raced with alien visitor possibilities. Or maybe it was some strange insect migration I’d never heard of. I even wondered about a flock of thousands of those mini drones, invading the sky above my house.

I ran inside and got James and he came out to see what I was so riled up about. He was also immediately blown away and we stood there wondering and guessing out loud.

Then, we both broke down into delighted giggles! What in the world??? What was this?? We were both so tickled!

I ran back in the house to get Michael (and my camera). I knew he’d never believe me if I tried describing it so even though he was already snuggled in bed with Netflix, I pulled the Mom Card and handed him his Robe. I was hoping the “swarm” would not take off before we could get back outside. He grumbled but came anyway.

Then the sweetest thing happened. Michael apologized…almost before we could even get outside. I guess my enthusiasm and wonder were pretty BIG.) He said, “Mom, I really don’t want to burst your bubble…but these are just someone’s Christmas laser lights.” I had no idea what he meant.

Sure enough, we traced the path of lights back toward probably our neighbors, the Jones’s, yard. James, ever the scientist, got it right away, when Michael explained how they worked. But, I stayed in denial for quite a while, a disappointed seven-year-old, bargaining for this to be a never-before-seen phenomenon.

“Are you sure?” I kept asking. “How could that be? Just look up there!”

Well, Michael was right, my bubble had popped but it didn’t really burst. It was still such an amazing display to see, all those pin points of light dancing in the tops of those HUGE ancient trees I love so much! I’ve lived here for over 40 years. I raised Michael in this house. Those trees were giant when we moved in and have acted as symbolic sentinels all these years. And now, he is raising his two sons here with those trees on guard.

Michael’s reaction to my childlike glee and then disappointment was so sweet and protective (thus the Role Reversal) but the best part came the next day. He went out and bought laser lights for all around the inside and outside of the house. That next night, he said “Mom, they’re baaack. Go look out your bedroom window.” And sure enough, a new Swarm had appeared, green and red this time, all over the two younger, but still large fir trees in the back of the house.

Delightful! Thanks, my sweet Son.

 

PS So sorry I don’t have visual aids as usual. Apparently laser lights are hard to photograph AND my site does not support video unless I “upgrade”. Otherwise I would embarrass myself for your entertainment by posting the completely black video of those lights, but with me squealing (and denying) in the background.

Fluffy, the House Duck

Another post inspired by another of my favorite Bloggers!

Check this out for context…

https://dailymusing57.com/2016/12/01/thursdays-special-pick-a-word-3/

Here’s the story I referred to in my comment to Lisa. A lot of it is the version I wrote when I was 9 or 10 years old, and then I added to it (mostly the sarcasm) at about 15 years old.

But, as Paul Harvey used to say, “And now, the rest of the story.”

Fluffy, the House Duck

Having a duck for a pet was NOT my idea in the first place. I was much more of a Lassie or a Rin Tin Tin gal. I couldn’t help it that they had a prize drawing the Saturday afternoon before Easter when we were just innocently attending the matinee showing of Pinocchio at the Roxy Theater. I didn’t ask for my very own ticket stub to have the triumphant number, thus making me a winner of something for the first time, ever, in my whole life. I never even intended to be a contestant. I was only seven.

It also wasn’t my fault that I had to carry that squirmy baby duck in one hand and hold onto my squirmy 4-year-old sister with my other. So, who could blame me for dropping that duckling, a time or two, on the way home? It was 10 blocks to walk after all.

And since I was a first time duck owner, how was I to know that baby duck’s wings were not supposed to stick up in the air, all crooked like this duck’s did; well, after those 3 or 4 drops anyway.

Oh, I guess it was cute enough, all soft and fluffy and yellow, but I had wanted a dog, a BIG dog, my whole entire life. But No, I get a duck, with funny broken wings that never did lie flat against its body like they were supposed to. And it never did fly. It mostly just flapped.

Not wanting to invest much of my creative energy in this creature, I just started calling it Fluffy…because it was.

I was the oldest kid which, in our family gave me tons of extra jobs to do, but it also gave me the right to have my very own room. So, if I was going to have to SHARE my room now with a duck, it better not poop and pee everywhere. How was I supposed to know that you couldn’t housebreak a duck? I just did it. It took a few weeks but after it learned, it only pooped in a cardboard box. The whereabouts of the peeing I am less sure.

I’m sure now that my folks thought this duck was a “short timer” because of the broken wings and all. But, it was still in my room, months later, when it had lost all that yellow fuzz and become this pretty brown and iridescent colored animal whose cute little squeak had disappeared and been replaced with a VERY LOUD quack. It was that quack that must have inspired my Dad to get busy out there in our back yard, creating a duck paradise.

One Sunday morning when I got up, he asked me to come out into the yard. Now see if you can picture this. It was a huge back yard with the requisite San Diego banana “trees” and citrus trees (lemons so sweet you could peel and eat them like oranges). We also had a swing set, a home made gazebo and two beautiful, flowering Oleander trees, the dangers of which, we had already been taught; (“It’s OK to smell the blossoms, but if the trees are ever on fire, do NOT breathe the smoke.”) From the edge of the cement patio, where the garden hose could easily reach, my Dad had dug two trenches out to the Oleander trees. Then he had dug moat-like ponds around each tree and connected those to each other with another trench. This elaborate system of waterways was to be Fluffy’s new home. Finally, it could be a REAL duck (just like Pinocchio had become a real boy).

That was the plan anyway.

Well, I guess you can’t teach an old duck new tricks.

Although old Fluff seemed content enough in the daytime to swim around and around those trees, as soon as it would start getting dark, there would be that duck, loudly protesting, on the back porch, until it was let in for the night. So I continued to have a night time roommate…..until one morning when the strangest thing happened.

Fluffy, who, OK, OK, by now, was my pal, had remained non-gender specific. Then, this one morning I woke up and there was a large, brownish egg next to Fluffy in her “nest” (which consisted of a bunch of rags in one corner).

I was amazed.

My Mom was appalled.

I think it was some kind of Last Straw. For me, it simply solved the gender question. I was pretty sure it was the girls that laid eggs. From then on there was an egg every morning but no matter how hard I tried to wake up early, not make a move in my bed and to watch, I never was able to witness this amazing feat taking place.

“That damn duck should NOT be in this house!” is what I heard, day and night, and then I heard “well, at least we can eat the eggs.” Of all the nerve! They wanted to EAT the EGGS. AAARGH!! I mean, REALLY! I wasn’t sure why I even cared but hey, I figured, my duck, my eggs. At one point, we actually had 11 eggs in the fridge but they mysteriously disappeared one morning. I don’t even want to think about where they went.

Somewhere along in here, the next door neighbors adopted a HUGE, yellow Tom Cat, biggest one I had ever seen. He roamed the neighborhood pretty freely and this, for some reason, had my normally calm Dad very upset. What happened next, I didn’t even find out about until years later when my father, figuring the statute of limitations was up on Parental Betrayal, told me the whole story.

Evidently, Daddy was extremely worried that I would be wounded beyond healing if one day while Fluffy was paddling around in the back yard, that big old yellow cat stopped by for a meal. So, plotting with my mother and all my younger sisters (it seems I was to be betrayed by my entire family) they came up with a plan.

One Saturday morning they told me that due to my “oldest kid privileges”, I got to go to Story Time at the public library. (The trick they were about to play on me was dirty enough without using that to get me to cooperate.) I was dropped off in front of the library, and told they would be back for me in 2 hours. I thought I was pretty hot stuff. Not even 8 years old yet, but old enough to go to the library all by myself. Their sinister plan was to charge back to the house, capture my duck and take her to Balboa Park, up by the zoo, where all the wild ducks wandered free. This actually was a well-intentioned plan. They thought it would be easier for me to recover from the inevitable loss of my duck if I was told she had a miraculous cure, her broken wings magically repaired, and she simply flew away while I was at Story time.

Nice try Dad.

The tale he confessed years later went like this. They all drove to a secluded place in the park where there was a pond and lots of city ducks. Dad, with my pal Fluffy under his arm, my traitorous family sitting in the car watching, walked out across the expanse of lawn toward the pond. He said a few words of good-bye, and tossed my duck toward the water. Satisfied that he had done his duty as a loving, protective father, he turned to walk back to the car.

Well, Fluffy was having none of this. She duck-waddled after Dad until she caught up with him, and then pacing herself to stay even with him, calmly followed him back to the car.

This could be a very long story. Let me just say that after several attempts, Dad gave up, and they brought Fluffy back home. Hey, imprinting is imprinting and like I said before, you can’t teach an old duck….

I think I had fluffy until I was about ten. She eventually learned to live outside, day and night. I was finally convinced that we shouldn’t waste her eggs, and duck egg omelets became a weekly treat. And ultimately, just as my Dad had feared, that damn orange cat got her.

But, I tell you what. She was my pal and what I know now is that she was an extremely unique duck. Not a bad first pet. Not bad at all.

fluffy-with-little-kathie-2

 

That’s me in the center…clearly in love with my duck! (also pictured are neighbor girl and my sister, Eileen)

Cee’s Share Your World – 2016 Week 42

https://ceenphotography.com/2016/10/17/share-your-world-2016-week-42/

This is my first time sharing my world. Does this mean I have to make up for the whole 42 weeks I missed??

Anyway, here are the questions we are to answer.

If you wanted to de-clutter where you live, what room / space would you start with?  (And why, if you’re feel like admitting to it.)

I’d start with the “living room”. It used to be the only guaranteed “clean” room in the house…my pretty blue and white oriental rug, all my Cobalt glass, nice furniture to sit on for guests. But now, with our packed household (son, two grandsons, two men renting rooms, and 3 indoor cats who have had their cavorting space dramatically reduced), James pretty much has his “office” and sports/TV viewing area in our living room…and all that cat hair drives me crazy!

If you want to remember something important, how do you do it (sticky note on the fridge, string around your finger, etc.), and does it work?

I keep running lists, in categories like errands, phone calls, sessions, books and music to remember, etc. (still on paper because if I write it down it helps kinesthetically, better than a phone app or computer calendar!) But the absolutely Must Remember things go on a sticky note in the center of my computer screen.

If you could create a one room retreat just for yourself, what would be the most important sense to emphasize:  sight (bright natural light, dim light, etc.), hearing (silence, music, fountain, etc.), smell (candles, incense, etc), touch (wood, stone, soft fabrics, etc.), or taste (herbal tea, fresh fruit, etc.)?

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My current sanctuary…my office/group room. It has all the above listed elements. I wrote about it here in a post called

Details #2-Balancing testoterone

If you could interview one of your great-great-great grandparents, who would it be (if you know their name) and what would you ask?

Her last name was “Young”, as in Brigham Young, but I can never remember what her wife-number was. She was one of 16 or 26 or 55 wives, depending on where you read about Latter Day Saints history. I was NOT raised Mormon so my information is mostly from Google, but one story I heard from older relatives was that she was married to Mr. Young, after he married her sister, and I believe their name was Decker. If I could speak to her, I wouldn’t ask her about polygamy because I think I mostly understand the beliefs they held at the time, but I am definitely curious about actual sisters (not “sister wives”) being married to the same man.

And I would ask if she could tell me anything about all the lace doilies and hankies I have used in the decorating of my room (referred to above)…if she made any of them herself…

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I am surprisingly grateful for all these great men I live with, especially my number one guy! (Michael and James, you can duke it out to decide who you think that is! This is really just a test to see if you actually read my blog!)

I enjoyed their passion yesterday over the bizarre ending to the Seahawks football game.

But that was also a LOT of angry yelling and testosterone in my precious blue and white living room…I think I may need to smudge with some sage today…

This week I am blank as to looking forward. The here and now is really pulling at me.

(Photo at the top is of our hand-made Sock Monkeys that James and I take turns positioning to demonstrate our current experience of our relationship. They live in the Living Room, amongst all the blue and white…and I had to train the cats to not stalk them as prey!)

 

Song Lyric Sunday 10-9-16

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2016/10/08/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-10916/

 

Landslide by the Dixie Chicks

The theme for today, Nature, instantly made me think of the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, but when I looked it up, I found this version by the Dixie Chicks. I chose this video because of all the strange and beautiful images…the house with deep roots (for Helen), all the water (given our WordPress Photo Challenge for H2O this week) and what can more clearly represent Nature than a lovely pregnant woman!?

Nobody sings it quite like Stevie but this is a terrific cover.

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Uh uh, uh uh, uh uh, oh
Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
And I’m getting older too
Well
Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
And I’m getting older too
Well, I’m getting older too
So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide brought it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe, well maybe, well maybe
A landslide will bring you down
Songwriters: Stevie Nicks
Landslide lyrics © Domino Publishing Company