I’ve chosen this before I think but to me it is one of the ultimate “let go” songs ever.
(Well, this one and Walk On by U2!)
I Can’t Make You Love Me
by Bonnie Raitt
Lyrics
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize
Don’t patronize me
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
(Disclaimer…I think because I have not posted for a while, I got carried away this morning. I mean, one song is all that was asked for. I seem to have turned this into a dissertation or something…)
OK, this was a serious challenge. First of all, I could not find a single legitimate artist with my name. I mean, there is Kathie Lee Gifford, but come on. I know how judgmental this is but I really cannot count her as an “artist”.
OK, so I tried my maiden name next and remembered not a specific song by an artist with that name, but rather a whole album by a longtime friend of mine, an amazing artist herself, singing my namesake’s songs.
(Shameless plug here….Go buy something by Ginny Reilly!!)
Then I tried my original, birth, last name, which later, sort of became my middle name (long story there) and found an artist I don’t usually like but she does have this one Power Song I like to play in my Women’s Groups.
Lyrics
You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I’d come running back
Baby you don’t know me, ’cause you’re dead wrong
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over ’cause you’re gone
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
You heard that I was starting over with someone new
But told you I was moving on over you
You didn’t think that I’d come back
I’d come back swinging
You try to break me but you see what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over ’cause you’re gone
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I’m not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I’m finally thinking ’bout me
You know in the end the day to left was just my beginning
In the end
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over ’cause you’re gone
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
When I’m alone
Songwriters: Alexandra Leah Tamposi / David Gamson / Greg Kurstin / Jorgen Kjell Elofsson
OK, so that’s good, right? A song by an artist with my name, sort of? But then I started thinking about songs with my name in them and remembered an old favorite…
Lyrics
I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls
And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies
My mind’s distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you’re asleep
And kiss you when you start your day
And a song I was writing is left undone
I don’t know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can’t believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme
And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you
And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I
But unfortunately…for you…that reminded me of an even earlier song with my name in it. Kind of a traumatic song really as one of my very first “boyfriends” played it over our junior high school’s loud speaker when we “broke up”. (Dating back then was innocent, short, and sweet, but the break ups were brutal!!
I searched but could not find much by anyone with my current last name. It’s an unusual, shortened name, for immigration here from Italy back in the early 1900’s.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the variety in my response to the challenge today.
This may be a stretch but I wrote the following letter on this Mother’s Day morning to all the wonderful Mom’s in my life. It may not be a town or region but I myself have always felt most “at home” when I am immersed into motherhood…where ever I am. It is definitely my favorite place in the world.
Dear Beautiful Mothers:
It is such a beautiful morning. I am sitting outside with my coffee, and I just told James, I feel a little like a Disney heroine this morning…like maybe Snow White? I am surrounded by singing birds, bunnies, squirrels and my favorite crows (who come to my call each day). Surely, the seven dwarfs will show up soon…
I am thinking about what Motherhood has meant to me in my life.
I feel such overwhelming gratitude today, Mother’s Day, 2018, even though I had to start “mothering” at such a young age. I did a lousy, uninformed job of it with my younger sisters. (I did do a great job of it with Fluffy, the Duck and with Moose, my very first dog though.)
Can you guess who cut all of our bangs???
But what I got from that experience of early mothering was my life’s “calling”. I have been a mother, in one form or another for my entire life. I have never wondered if it was the right “job” for me. And I continue to be absolutely amazed that, for a large part of my adult life, I actually got paid to be a professional Mom…to hundreds…a few of whom, still honor me with that title today. Amazing! Unexpected! And what a privilege!
I lost my own mother so young but was blessed to have many teachers, mentors, counselors, borrowed Moms, and relatives who all gave me a little mothering along my path. My “adopted” Elaine/Mom took that job on in such a serious and permanent way, she was my mother for more than twice the number of years I got to have my first Mom.
One of my most important and beloved Mentor/Teacher/Auntie/Moms has been Jean Clarke. Lucky for me she taught me very early in our almost 50-year long relationship, that none of us can ever have too many good Mom’s! So, I have tried to live that philosophy…mothering others when I can and accepting that from others when I need it.
Elaine/Mom is on the left and Jean Clarke on the right
When Michael was in his early twenties, I apologized to him for having to be gone so much during his school years. As a single mom, there were years when I worked 3 jobs and was in school full time!! (How did I ever do that??) He said the kindest thing ever. He said “Mom, it’s OK. Don’t you realize what you did for me? I was never alone. You surrounded me with lots of other mothers to take care of me.”
Anyway, I wanted you each to know I think about you on this day.
Those of you who helped me raise Michael…
Those who trusted me to mother you…
Those who mothered me (and those who generously shared your mothers with me) …
Those in my tribe who still mother me today…
Those still mothering younger children with such dedication, creativity and love…
Those who mothered your children so beautifully, they have now become lovely adults…
And those who may still be waiting for the return of that one kid you mothered who has needed to be so very far away from you…I really understand that one…
But the Mom I am most grateful for today is my daughter’s mother, Barbara. I could not raise that beautiful little baby girl and I had to wonder for more than 20 years what mother my daughter had been given to. Now, I know the answer and what a wonderful, kind, loving, open-hearted mother she is. It shows up in her daughter, our daughter…
I am blessed beyond belief to have my daughter’s family in my life.
Happy Mother’s Day and thanks to you all.
I couldn’t really send out enough thank-you bouquets, so I made you all a slide show from my morning walk. I hope you enjoy it.
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Love you all,
Kathie
PS My sweet neighbor, Vasantha, recently gave me an out of the blue, and for no occasion gift, the very best kind! She gave me two pieces of jewelry she said reminded her of me; a ring (blue and silver) and a Two-Cat pin, complete with moving tails. She wrote a lovely card that said “to one who nurtures birds with broken wings, embraces stray cats, and gives shelter to folks wholeheartedly…”
My motherhood recognized…unsolicited. What a gift!
PS Again-And who would have ever thought at this point in my life I would have also earned the title of BUG MOTHER!!!
Final PS, I promise- Don’t even let me get started on Grand-mothering!!!
Well, the theme today is Siblings or Brother/Sister.
For me, a heart-breaking theme…
I was just telling James last night, after watching one of those poignant long lost family reunion TV shows, I wish I could find some surprise, unknown siblings…from my biological father, whom I never met. Not that I didn’t search for the guy for much of my younger life. But looking for Michael John Kelly, I just never had any luck. Way, WAY too common an Irish name. Even with all the “Ancestry” type options we have these days, I have kind of given up.
I just wish I could have some kind of healthy reunion with the sisters I did have growing up. Pretty unlikely though.
I have to admit that along with my joy at Helen’s experiences with HER sister, I also experience some envy.
So, I thought of this song by Cris Williamson called “Sister”. I’ve posted it before but am not sure I included the above backstory. It’s a beautiful song, worth another listen, even if you already know it. I can close my eyes and imagine myself NOT the oldest sibling, taking care of everyone else, but having an older sister singing these words to me!!
Sister
All of the earth
Child of God
Just one of among the family
And you can count on me
to share the load
and I will always help you
hold your burden and I will be the one to help you
ease your pain.
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
I will fold you in my arms
like a white wing dove
Shine in your soul
your spirit is crying
spirit is crying
Born of the earth
Child of God
Just one among the family
And you can count on me to share the load
And I will always help you
Hold your burdens
and I will be the one to help you ease your pain.
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
Lean on me
I am your sister
Believe on me
I am your friend
I am your friend
PS Here’s some info on Cris Williamson, a wonderful and talented singer/songwriter.
I had the extreme pleasure of being at a Bonnie Raitt concert once, when she called Cris out on the stage to sing with her. They did “Angel from Montgomery”. Oh my GOD! What a beautiful combination of voices.
Love I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes
Love, I don’t like to see so much pain
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive
And all my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
In your eyes, in your eyes
Questions this week are great!! Very thought provoking!
If a distant uncle dies and you were always his favorite and leaves you $50,000 (any currency) in his will, what would you do?
Put it in the bank. That would buy us another whole year in our house!!!!
Bedraggled though she is, I adore my funky old house!
What sound or sounds do you love?
Have to agree with Cee, that it’s usually the ocean…but at this time of year it is the bird orchestra that tunes up and plays it’s Daily Opus…just before sunrise. It is truly spectacular! You probably have an orchestra in your area too. You may just need to get up early to hear it.
Love the morning songs from my local covey
What’s your middle name? Why?
I also have a middle-name story.
I never had one as a kid. Always just Kathie Bessey. Then I found out Mr. Bessey was not my biological father. So I rebelliously took it upon myself to add my birth father’s last name as my middle name. I became Kathie Kelly Bessey. Then I married my son’s father and again, still a little miffed about the childhood deceit I experienced, dropped the Bessey and became Kathie Kelly Arcide. That Arcide guy did not stick around for long but now it was my son’s name too, so I kept it.
Then, as time passed (and I did some serious personal therapy), all was forgiven so I added back in my “real” Dad’s name and became Kathie Kelly Bessey Arcide.
One of the best stories I have ever written is about that. You can read about it here…
What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?
Honestly, I appreciated Blogging. The whole experience. The discipline to write and post often. The wonderful new friends I’ve made. A terrific excuse to carry my camera around with me everywhere. The kick in the butt to go for a walk even when I can barely move my legs, just because I might capture a photo for my blog!
OK, see if you can follow my logic this week. Unity makes me think of the only church I have ever attended with any regularity in my adult life. I picked it in the beginning as a reaction to the oppressive and emotionally blackmailing religious upbringing I had survived. When I first found it, Unity of Bellevue seemed like the place where all the peacenik, flower children had landed.
So I stayed…well, off and on, for more than 40 years now.
I stayed for the open mindedness. I stayed because they had the Galaxy painted on the ceiling of the kids Sunday School area. I stayed because they had a class called The Joy of Sects….go ahead…say it out loud. I stayed because there were these beautiful banners hanging all over the sanctuary, banners of Jewish symbols, because Unity of Bellevue shared it’s building with a local, slightly rebellious Jewish community leaving their main synagogue. I stayed for the workshops and guest speakers, like The Three Amigos (a Unity Pastor, Jewish Rabbi and Muslim Sheikh…Listen at your leisure for a wonderful talk.)
But mostly I kept returning to the Unity church for the music. Every summer in August, they had a service that was a great celebration of music from 40 years before. My favorites were the years 1967 and 1968. It was just music and congregation members standing up and speaking about what that music or year meant to them. I totally regressed and stayed up all night making “love Beads”. Then during the service that Sunday, I wandered through the audience putting necklaces around people’s necks! (Flashbacks of Woodstock!)
Many incredible musicians at this little church but my favorite was these two women named Garnett Hundley and Beverly Daugherty. http://www.garnettandbeverly.com/
Just about anything they sang (and they had a spectacular variety) was fun or beautiful or inspirational.
This is a long way to get to my song for this week, but the following is one of my favorites songs by those two women I would hear at the Unity church. Maybe not their most beautiful or modern piece, but the message for me is the thing!!
Wish I’d heard this as a squashed kid!!!
Couldn’t find the lyrics but again, their website is http://www.garnettandbeverly.com/
Thought I’d include info about this weekly challenge.
Here are the “rules”:
Post the lyrics to the song of your choice, whether it fits the theme or not
Please try to include the songwriter(s) – it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due and it’s honestly just a simple Google search
Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process
Feel free to use the Song Lyric Sunday badge by copying it into your post or add it to your site to show you are participating.
